Naruto and his Uzumaki Heritage
by funkmasterjo
Summary: Naruto plus Uzumaki Heritage. Because I had to do it. Let's make Uzumaki!Naruto an actual tag. I'm gonna be honest though, don't expect a lot of effort from me.
1. Chapter 1

Premise: Okay, so the Uzumaki name wasn't just something that came up as a name for orphans, like Oliver Twist's name. They were an actual clan. That's his heritage. And no one... ever... mentions it until shippuden?

Like, an actual clan? Like, with a specialty?

Like, a specialty in sealing, which _no other _clan in the world that has been mentioned... seems to have?

Like, can someone do something about this please? And then I was like, ah hell, I'm going to do it aren't I?

I'm aware of Naruto Fuujinroku. But I mean, something specifically about the Uzumaki Clan.

And like... I couldn't help it. I tried to resist but I ended up writing it. That said, it would probably be for the best if I could find someone else who has written this subject extensively and well, and sate my sudden desire for this plot point that way. I have enough issues with current obligations - I've pretty much abandoned Shippuden Complaint even. If I do it, you're not going to get transitions, or proper research, or polish, or consistency.

But it must be done.

* * *

Chapter 1

Pilot Chapter.

At the time of the confrontation, nothing said so very much about the Yondaime's godlike ability than his capacity to instantly recognize Madara as a threat, recognize the infamous red and black style of the mangekyo sharingan, and warp back to headquarters to give a warning to the people there in a single description of: "mangekyo" before returning to Madara's side before the mystery man even moved.

The Yondaime had long since learned to ignore actual spacial limitations.

After that fateful night, it hadn't been hard for the shinobi forces, frustrated and furious as they were, to put the pieces together. The Kyuubi attack was a historic event, and the blame fell at Uchiha Madara's feet.

In this way, hatred was heaped on Madara and Kyuubi both. But on the topic of Naruto, opinion was somewhat split. The shinobi of the villiage knew how jinchuuriki worked. They knew how sealing worked, too, if only on a conceptual basis. And they knew that they had to defend the last Uzumaki of the villiage, for their bloodline was the only thing Konoha held capable of keeping the mighty kyuubi in check. Doubly so if the mangekyo lurked outside of Konoha's control.

Sadly, protection by visible and invisible bodyguards didn't do much to aid in Naruto's social life, or his need for care. Or love.

Neither did the misconceptions of misguided and ignorant civilians. They wanted to hate.

There were two people to blame. Madara and Kyuubi. And one was on hand. Who cared that it may not hear, and that a boy would have to take the message instead?

They had lost so much. They were entitled to grieve in any way they wished.

Naruto had to say, on the topic of the hate of the civilians, that he was quite empathetic.

One day, a civilian had exploded in anger. That day, one of his protectors exploded in defence. "Do you have _any _idea what this kid _means _to our villiage? His existance protects us in it's own way. Don't you _get _that the Kyuubi doesn't _die? _That he can only be sealed in a jinchuuriki? What do you think would _happen _if we loose the _last _Uzumaki? The Kyuubi would be released, and who'll seal him? And _what _is going to hold him, when there are no more Uzumaki to handle it? Do you think it's anything like the other bijuu? It's _not!_ You have no idea. It's not your _job _to have any idea. So stop it. Leave it to us professionals to explain to you what will keep you _safe_. That's _our job_."

"No." Naruto said. "He has a point. The Kyuubi should die. It ruined his family. Mine too." It was then that Naruto raised his eyes, hooded and bitter as they were, and the man saw himself there. The man saw his comrade's eyes there. "The Kyuubi, stupid fox, and that Madara. They _ruined _my life. They took _everything _from me. My mother. My father. And they even _took_ my place amongst _you all_!" Young Naruto indicated the man and everyone behind him on the street. "So **OKAY! **Let's **HATE them TOGETHER!** And if you _ever _find a good way to _kill _either one, then **I **want to be the **first to know.**"

The man said nothing for a few seconds, taken aback.

And then, he saw his own visage reflected in the child's iris. He saw hiimself and he knew he was not afraid of the child's outburst. He was in complete agreement. He nodded. They would be together in this. That had been his mistake. They should hate Kyuubi together.

* * *

His clan's presence in Konohagakure hadn't been particularly rich, as clans went, nor was their membership many. The clan had mainly been in Uzushiogakure, after all, before it and they had been destroyed by war. But still a few had lived in Konoha (his mother included) and their collective resources had no where else to go than Naruto's own bank account.

It was a poor consolation.

He hadn't a family.

But… at least he had a heritage. He had a heritage and a set of instructional scrolls meant to be passed down and preserve the knowledge of those before him.

He clung to that.

Seals. They said. Seals and seals and seals. The language of the gods? Not quite, they said. Sort of, but there are important differences, they said.

Naruto heard them. He tried to do his best. It was hard to get over looking at thier faces: happy or kind, or stern, but there shone in their eyes a kind of light. A kind of pride.

Naruto liked to think the pride was for him. For the next generation.

He would not let the pictures down.

The written word is an _inferior medium_ the people in the scrolls said. Respectable, but _unnecessary _for something this _important. _We will seal an image itself, and a voice itself, and you will have a running _movie _of lessons made for the cost of ink and paper, and a little of our _time_.

This is our _thing,_ they said. This is _what we do_. This is what causes the _world _to respect and _fear us_. This is why these scrolls are so _important_. This is why we must preserve our culture and our knowledge this way. Seals will probably bring the world down on us, to scatter us to the winds, but it is _not_ the _art's fault_. We _cannot _give up on the _art. _Seals are what we _are. _What we _all _are. Our clan is doomed but we're _happy_. We're happy to be able to look at the world and _truly understand _the forces that make it work. Compared to that - to being truly _aware _of the world and _ourselves_, the ability to twist those forces are secondary at best. That is why we cannot give up.

It's _beautiful, _child, don't you see? Do you see yet?

Hurry up and see. It's a gift from our generation to yours. It's worth it.

Naruto tried to see. He played the lessons again and again. He heard the words, but his thoughts were on the pictures. In terms of beauty, he thought Aunty Haruka was beautiful. He thought that she seemed kind. And it was nice that she always seemed to have cookies baking in the background of her lessons. He would have liked to try those cookies too.

But the world? He couldn't see yet.

* * *

One day he did see. He was practicing writing 'gather' in the language of seals on the ground. He was using leaves as the target, since this seemed to be the best way to clean up his courtyard. It was a big courtyard and he was rather small in comparison.

His problem, though, was that it was hard to keep in mind what the seal meant while he charged it. 'Gather' wasn't the simplest one. The simplest one was 'warm'. But Naruto liked 'gather'. It had big, flowing lines and it was easier to draw without messing up. But it was hard to charge.

To charge a seal, it had to either have a 'guide' portion to make the chakra flow right through the lines, or the charger had to _understand _what the seal meant. In the case of 'gather', Naruto had to remember that the first stroke represented the whole of everything, and that was why it was outside the rest. And the second stroke represented 'identity' and that was why it was where the leaf was placed. And the third stroke approached the second, but not quite touching, and represented that tenancy for things to move towards each other. But it wasn't gravity, exactly, he had to remember. It was like water that clung together to make a bigger bubble. It was like birds choosing to sit together on a line on his roof.

And the order was important. The world comes first, and then stuff, and then rules for stuff.

And there were reasons for why it was like that this time in particular. And Naruto had to keep those reasons in mind, too, or the seal wouldn't charge.

It was hard to do it.

One day though, he did. And the leaves started to gather. It was slow, of course. At first he thought it was just the wind playing with the foliage, but eventually the leaves of his courtyard collected obediently in his circle and Naruto was overcome.

Overcome that he had done some kind of amazing magic.

He lifted a leaf from the pile and dropped it a distance away. In amazement, he saw it slide slowly towards the others. It seemed alive. It was mystical. And with a start, he realized that he trully understood how that magic worked. That understanding was what was needed in order to charge the seal so he _must _understand. And he found that knowing how it worked didn't make it any less special.

And then he considered that seals were manipulation of laws that were already there. And he looked to the edges of his compound. He took a walk. He saw many trees outside, and many more leaves. And he knew that somewhere in each and every one of them was a piece of that magic that he'd seen.

And every rock. Every person. Every bird in the sky. Every single little _speck of dust_.

The whole world was one big jutsu. Doing a million things all at once. All in a purpose. All in gentleness. In uniformity. In beautiful complexity when you looked from afar, and true simplicity when you looked just close enough.

It was... it was amazing.

And at that moment he looked to his feet and felt humble.

And at that moment he looked at the world and felt special. Part of a whole. He had a place, and the place was right where it was in this beautiful thing.

And Naruto was grateful. "That's... an awesome present." He whispered through tears of emotion. "S-Sorry it took so long to unwrap."

* * *

A/N: If anyone wants to take anything from this story, do it. Make it so. Seal theory, OCs (If I make OCs), plot, small sections of text, whatever. Cite me please, but even if you don't I probably won't care. I really just want the Uzumaki!Naruto fic to take off. It has to happen.

I was like, 'do I really need to post this? Do I want to start another side project officially? Can't I just hold it on my computer?' And then I was like, 'screw it. I have enough of that kind of thing on my laptop, of which will never likely see the light of day. Someone may be inspired to do this plot point if I post it. I may end up going far with it. Whatever. Just do it.'

I started a poll on my author's page about pairings for this fic. I can't promise to stick to the results but I might try.

Expect this done at my leisure. Which honestly may be fast or slow. I can't say. Unless someone review a song campaigns it. If anyone does review a song campaign it, you'll need to include in the review that you're using your update credit on this story and not Tsunade's Heir, or I'll just assume the other. And no, I'm not even going to explain the review a song campaign here.


	2. Chapter 2

Warning. Author rage: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH. DOCUMENT MANAGER IS A PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. I wrote a bunch of crap and went to click 'save' but lo and behold decides to be a little bitch and log me out because they just dayrolled so what happens? The doc manager warns me that I have been logged out? No. It warns me when I click 'save' that I should backup my work before I try that? No. NO IT F*CKING DOESN'T. It sends me to the login page and I loose EVERYTHING. PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

So, long story short, I rewrote this stuff immediately out of pure rage and hatred. Also: f*ck document manager. Shit.

* * *

Chapter 2

Parantage Heritage

* * *

Naruto found something amazing one day. Apparently there was a certain seal that was just for Uzumaki, and if an Uzumaki put their blood on that seal it would prove that the blood donator... was an actual Uzumaki.

His knee-jerk response at the time was that it was utterly pointless, but it was a seal just for him and his family, so Naruto learned it as best he could.

It was pretty easy too, as seals went.

Regardless Naruto decided to write it one day on a paper during breakfast, toast hanging from his mouth and feet kicking underneath the table. He drew the seal because drawing was supposed to be good practice. It was something that was done just because.

But when he charged the seal, Naruto found something amazing.

The floorboard underneath his chair popped up suddenly, throwing him off balance and to the floor.

Then another floorboard popped up. And another.

And soon Naruto was staring at a giant safe where his floor used to be, and wood was all over the place in quite a mess.

But Naruto couldn't really say he minded a mess. He was that kind of boy. So he stared instead at the safe. It was really big and metal and gray, and it was taking up the space where he habitually ate all his meals.

Hmmm.

Naruto stared at the combination on the safe. He reached out to touch the dial, deciding that he would try 0-0-0 as a combination and see if it worked, when something on the dial cut his finger.

Embittered at this mean thing that had displaced his eating area and then had the gall to attack him, Naruto sucked his finger sullenly as he stared at the safe.

But then it opened. It did not swing opened, but rather slid to the side like a sliding door, and Naruto found himself plummetting through a dark tunnel that was hidden under his house.

He screamed unashamedly before he hit the bottom of his fall on a trampoline of all things.

The walls lit up, illuminated with ink seals flaring to life. And Naruto saw a table to the side. The table had two scrolls and a lamp upon it.

One big. One small.

The big one was truly enormous. The small one looked like one of those movie scrolls.

So Naruto obviously opened the smaller one first.

It was another seal of a movie, Naruto thought. The seal looked very familliar. He couldn't normally charge these, for he did not understand how they worked, but Naruto recognized that there was an autoguide written into it, just like the other movies he had been given. And so he charged it.

And his mother was so beautiful.

* * *

With a yelp, Naruto sprung up from the hole and onto his wooden floor.

That was no normal trampoline.

"Naruto?" one of his watchers asked. "I heard you yell and I came in. Are you all right?"

"What? Yeah. Yeah, I just... There were some seals down there. Another movie seal, but of my... my parents." Naruto wiped his eyes. They were dry, now, of course but he felt he should make sure. "There was some trip they had taken and they were going to edit the seal before they added it to their library. And that's why it was down there - I think it was some kind of secret study. And that's why it didn't get destroyed with everything else in their house that night."

His parents had been married and moved in together, but it seemed that this house was kept inside the small Uzumaki Compound. It had been his mother's house before marriage, and there were tools here and privacy seals that were not to be taken lightly. So there had been a safe-house like that...

Naruto thought his parents really liked to record things. He thought they were the kind of people that have tons of picture albums and sealed memories and... and he couldn't t believe how much he must have lost when he lost his parent's house to the Kyuubi.

But at least this video survived. And the bigger scroll, whatever that was.

He was so happy he had found it.

"Hey," Naruto began, "if you knew I fell down, why didn't you come after me? Isn't that your job?"

"No. Well..." The boar-masked man said. "I saw all the seals that lined the hole walls and I'm not crazy enough to test the seals in an Uzumaki's own home."

Naruto supposed he could understand that.

* * *

Naruto did all right in school. He didn't do too well, but he didn't do all that badly either.

At home he spent most of his time with his scrolls, and they didn't really cover anything about Tai or Ninjutsu or anything like that.

There were some taijutsu-esque moves in his scrolls, but they were not actual katas or styles. They were isolated movements and methods that could be used expressly for getting into good positions to write on the opponent's chest or back, or to slip away unnoticed.

But none of that translated into a better taijutsu score.

And the only seals involved in the school curriculum were explosive tags, and those weren't for another two years.

It had never really bothered Naruto before. His focus had been on his heritage.

But part of the movie he had found of his parents involved talking of their child-to-be's future.

His father had said he was sure his son would get A's in school and become a great and upstanding shinobi. He hoped his son would inherit his original techniques.

His mother had chided his father, saying that he needn't be a ninja or get A's or anything at all so long as he was happy with his life. She would be content if he had a wife who loved him, friends, and a family. And was a 'good young man.'

His father sheepishly agreed, but Naruto wasn't sure he had been truly chastised. Naruto thought his father still wanted his son to do well in school, so Naruto decided that that was what he would do. He would do what both his parents had set out for him.

On the topic of girls, he had no success. He thought Sakura from his class was pretty. Her pink hair reminded him of the red that many of the women in his clan scrolls sported. It seemed somehow appropriate to date her. She was also lively and kind, and probably had less cooties than the other girls.

At this point in his life, girls were still pretty icky to Naruto. But he would do his best for his mother.

But Sakura rejected him. He wasn't her type, she said.

Naruto asked what her type was. What would have to be done to be that type.

Because that was how Naruto saw the world. There was what he wanted and there was where he was. He believed he could get from point to point under his own power. After all, if his personal effort had let him see the infinite beauty of creation itself, then he could surely do anything, and he would get from A to B if it took him a hundred years. But it would be nice to know how much work he was in for.

Sakura had faltered, and then in an apologetic kind of way said that, although she understood and respected the jinjuriki'srole, it was really just too much to ask for her to kiss or hug a person with a demon inside them. It was scary, she said.

So they'd better not date, she said.

And, besides, she was a Sasuke-kun kind of girl after all.

Sasuke had a dark past, much like Naruto. He was the last of his clan, in the same sense that Naruto was as well. They were the last of their clan in the village, but there may be survivors outside. There were possibly other Uzumaki still living scattered around the world. And In the case of the Uchiha, there was surely at least one more Uchiha out there as well. For it was Madara, again, that had struck this town. This time, he tried to end his own clan.

What was the difference between him and Sasuke?

Naruto thought Sasuke might be a little sadder. Naruto's clan had always talked in their scrolls about togetherness. About an aggregate view as a clan. It took a village to raise a child, they said. We are all together in everything. That's the rule.

And the Uchiha, who had worked so hard and diligently in the service of their village in order to distance themselves from the stigma of their founder, was done in just as they were regaining their lost ground.

Sasuke was spared because he was the only one Itachi and the rest of the clan's efforts managed to save.

It takes a village, Naruto thought. And he thought that considering how the Uchiha's had banded together to save what they could of the next generation, that Sasuke's clan and his might have shared that common thought as well. But Sasuke had lost that. Madara had broken that, as he had broken so much before.

So no. Naruto did not envy Sasuke. He envied every other student, their home cooked meals, and their houses with people in them.

But he didn't bother spending time envying Sasuke.

Regardless, the point was that Sakura liked him. And Ino. And seemingly all the other girls, too.

They liked how he didn't wear bright colors, and he got good marks, and his clan had been many and fairly wealthy – so now Sasuke was totally loaded. And he would sit on a council one day. And he had so many houses. And so on and so forth.

Naruto decided that he would put the girl thing aside for now. He was a long way away from marriageable age, so he had time on that front. And it didn't seem as if any of the other boys were having any luck with girls either. Well, girls were still pretty icky so Naruto wasn't sure they were trying.

As for friends, he could make them among the shinobi populous. It was actually easier to be friends with people that were members of a clan, as there seemed to be some kind of social separation of shinobi from clans and just regular shinobi. The regular students, it seemed to Naruto, were probably jelous of him and everyone else with family techniques. He offered to teach them some sealing. He thought the gift of seeing the world's magic was something that he shouldn't hog too much. But they didn't want it.

"It's impossible" they said. "Only an Uzumaki can get anywhere with that stuff, unless they spend forever like the Hokage and become really old. Everyone knows that."

Naruto hadn't known that. The scrolls didn't talk much about his bloodline limit yet. He knew it involved energy and maybe chains, but not much more. He had never thought that his was the only family able to learn seals quickly. He had thought that his was the only family that _enjoyed _the artenough to _really try_.

He wasn't convinced he was wrong.

But the point was that for friends he got along all right.

So he just needed those 'A's

And a written test arrived soon. Naruto tried his best. If he had given 80% effort before, now he gave 200%. But he did not know what he did not know, and no amount of staring and concentrating filled in the questions that remained blank.

The next day he stared hard at his returned test. The C+ seemed to stare right back.

He had never really paid attention to those kinds of things before. He didn't see why he was supposed to study about world history when there was already so much clan history to catch up on.

But he wanted that 'A' for his father.

So when class ended, Naruto was the first to stand. He went to the front of the class and asked the teacher how far a C+ was from an A-.

The teacher contemplated this, for this was truly a valuable question. And he replied: "it is as far as your procrastination, and as near as your determination."

"Then," Naruto surmised, "it is not that far."

* * *

A/N: Oh my god I hate document manager. Don't ask me why I was writing in it. I just started and I didn't stop. God, I hate document manager.

Behold, the glory of lack of concern. I care so little about this work as a professional piece that I update it even before the reasonable run time between chapters expires. I have so little concern about success or whatever, that I don't even vaguely try to milk each chapter for as many reviews as possible. 5? Whatever. Carry on. My indifference is unstoppable. This story is, and this'll sound bad, but it's about me. It's about creating something _I _want. I write Tsunade's Heir for the masses. I write I Just Want a Vacation and this story for myself. Myself and the niche audience of people that, like me, can't sleep at night due to uncontrollable need to see Uzumaki!Naruto.

Ah, but I will make an effort to check my name spelling. A reviewer mentioned that somewhere. Actually, I have been spelling names based on how they sound in my head lately and evidently, those sounds are ludicrously off-base.


	3. Chapter 3

I haven't powered through a story this fast since I wrote 'Hurricane Yoh' back in the day. Actually, this is probably faster since Hurricane Yoh had such short chapters. This is the fastest I ever wrote a fic, wordage wise. I guess this is wha happens when I do it just for fun (JFF).

Wow. Poll results surprised me. The Harem I expected. Everyone loves a harem. But people like Naruto/TenTen? Yeah?

* * *

Chapter 3

Difficult 'A'

* * *

Naruto set about his task.

There would be a freestyle combat ranking at school in a week, he knew. And he decided that that would be a great place to make his first bid for an A.

He hoped that, as with sealing, his first success would allow him to reach some kind of breakthrough. He hoped that after this the world of school would open up to him, as the world of nature had. And maybe he would grow to love school as he had grown to love his family art.

But he had to get that first 'A'.

He practiced his taijutsu in the morning.

In class he wrote the names of his classmates.

After school he went to the library and sought to understand those names. Those clans.

In the afternoon, he looked to the seals he could use and contemplated how they could serve him in battle. Then, he practiced writing them quickly.

And before bed he went back down to that secret place under his table and he promised his parents that he would try to bring them back something to be proud of.

He repeated this for a week.

And then the day arrived.

On that morning, he ate well.

Then he donned a white coat for he thought that he looked much like his father. And he thought that meant he must look cool in white, as his father had.

He attached some scrolls to a black belt that held such things vertically, which he strapped around his waist. He positioned it so that the scrolls would be behind him, as this allowed for the best maneuverability.

He donned a pair of white fingerless gloves, and on the left he wrote his most familiar seal: the 'gather'. On the right he wrote a seal he'd recently gotten the hang of, the 'adhere'.

He laid a white cloth headband before him on the table and wrote on it the 'gather' seal that had opened his eyes to the world what seemed so long ago. But in the place of the focal point, he took a felt pen and wrote instead the kanji for courage.

Now, there was not any particular effect to be had for mixing kanji and seal language.

Seals were a matter of manipulating natural laws and the world didn't particularly have any opinion on kanji one way or another. So there was generally no net effect.

But it was symbolic.

And Naruto valued symbols.

Most seal-users did.

And so armed, Naruto set out.

* * *

It was to begin here, Naruto thought.

The students were in the courtyard of the school. They sat in a large circle, with the teacher in the middle.

The teacher addressed everyone. He explained that there were no rules, but practice kunai had to be used.

The teacher assured the students that if things got out of hand, that he would step in fast enough to handle it. So they weren't to worry. He explained that today's results would greatly affect their place on the rankings chart and Naruto knew that if he came first here he would just have enough to be first on that chart.

And that sounded like an 'A' to Naruto.

Naruto's name was called.

It was to begin here, he reminded himself.

He stepped forwards. Shino did as well. They bowed from opposite edges of the ring, and both took the same academy stance.

This stance held one arm before the other, the closer hand clutched in a fist and the further one opened in a palm.

Naruto stared his opponent down. He didn't want to make the first move.

Shino spoke. "I have researched you." He said.

Naruto stared back. "I looked your clan up in the library." He admitted back.

"Uzumaki-san, I ask you not to kill any of my kikaichū. They require a direct line to me, in order to live."

Naruto frowned. "If I seal them into paper they'll die?"

Shino nodded gravely. "They are my heritage."

Naruto grimaced, but he nodded back.

He thought of asking Shino not to use his kikaichū. He thought maybe shino would agree to those terms.

But this was the first time they were going to be able to use their family techniques in class.

Naruto couldn't ask the other boy to hide his heritage away. As much as he was here today to on his mission to get a good grade, he was also here in front of an audience of his peers to show them… just what the Uzumaki clan could do. He couldn't ask less of Shino.

"Okay." Naruto said. And as he looked the other boy in the eye, he felt as if a whole conversation had passed between them.

Slowly, Naruto reached up and bit his right thumb.

It was then that Shino flicked his wrist. Out of his sleeves came a cloud of black.

Girls screamed and broke the circle, scrambling away in an almost (ironically) bug-like fashion.

Naruto did not scream. He did not scramble away. He did not even try to dodge.

Naruto knew that trying to brush them off would be pointless, and that he had only so much time until he could no longer fight.

But he also knew that he had more energy than most people, so he would have a little longer.

So he ran.

He ran at Shino and smeared the blood from his right thumb on to the 'identity' stroke of the 'gather' on his left glove and quickly clenched his fist. He poured his thoughts and his diminishing energy into the 'gather' and he felt it activate. He felt blood in his body rush to his left hand, and become dense there.

They had learned in class that there existed styles in the world which used arcing chops to gather blood in the palms. This increased density and hardness of the hand.

They learned that there were people that did this, not with chakra or jutsu. But with their martial art.

So he would do the same with his own art.

Naruto faltered just a little as he stepped in. Shino, surprised that Naruto would choose to run straight through his swarm, only managed to raise his arms in a cross guard to block.

It didn't matter.

Naruto's fist - hard as iron – and his dashing momentum combined to send the other boy staggering back with his guard broken. There, Shino tripped over a sitting Shikamaru.

And as Shino had fallen outside the circle, Naruto was proclaimed the winner.

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief, and slumped back towards his spot. It had been very short, but the kikaichū were ravenous little buggers. More than that, though, had been the tension of the moment. As he had stared off against the other boy, he had felt a kind of surety that it would all come down to one clash. And when he had charged, he had charged into the unkown.

The match was over within seconds. It had been decisive. It had been swift.

The teacher brought this to the student's attention. Some battles took long, but many had opportunities to end as swiftly as this. Two combatants will occasionally meet, and both will aim for a finishing move simultaneously. And the one who makes the better bet walks away.

But ultimately, even if you can read minds or the body – and here he spared a glance at Ino and Sasuke – you are still making a bet for you do not know exactly how matters will pan out.

Ino and a male academy student were called up. The girl tried to perform a jutsu. Naruto thought it was probably from her family jutsu. But she was very slow at it and she was knocked out with basic academy tiajutsu.

Clearly she had made the wrong bet.

Sasuke was called up, as was Sakura. Sakura forfeited immediately and Sasuke was grateful that he would not have to suffer through such a conflict.

Two other students were called up, and they decided wordlessly to make it a ranged battle. Practice kunai and shuriken flew around the clearing, many students getting up and leaving the circle for cover, as wide shots and deflections put them at risk of being hurt before their next bout.

There was a line drawn on the floor to represent the circle, anyways, so this was okay.

Ultimately, one student simply ran out of projectiles. And as he bent down to gather some from the ground he was pegged mercilessly by the other – who had brought a spare equipment pouch.

Naruto thought that there, again, was a bad bet.

The next time Naruto was called up, Choji was as well. The other boy sported his usual green jacket, but with the new addition of a pair of armguards. They took up familiar stances against each other.

Naruto considered the large boy. He might be occasionally teased for his girth, but it would serve him here. He had a Sumo's body. He would not be easily pushed out of the ring.

But he was slow. So naruto thought he could perhaps dodge and deal enough damage at close range to force a quit.

So Naruto brought the fight to Choji.

But the other boy did something Naruto hadn't expected. He made a single seal.

Alarmed, Naruto threw his ironlike fist before himself and tried to backpedal.

Too late.

"Baika no Jutsu!"

Of course. Naruto thought, dazedly, as Chouji's doubling of mass threw Naruto to the ground in a roll. Clever. Choji had said that he couldn't use the family technique properly, not that he couldn't use it at all. His waist just got big. He couldn't roll or keep proportion.

But Naruto knew that was more than enough.

Naruto knew of the ways of the natural world. Instant expansion was not far removed from an explosion itself.

Naruto rolled. The sky and the earth flipped places in rapid succession. His head was ringing. His body was out of his control, victim of the absurd force of significant poundage moving outwards more than a meter in less than a second.

Desperately he charged the 'adhere' on his right glove and hoped that in all his flailing he would anchor on to something quickly.

Naruto's right hand made contact with the floor. He stopped in a jerking movement that left his right shoulder screaming in pain. The world spun and Naruto found himself staring up at a girl with soulful grey eyes.

The girl looked concerned. "A-Are you –"

Naruto muttered he was fine. He was lucky that he had stopped where he did. He had almost left the circle.

But as it was, he was still in this fight. Naruto grimaced, then grunted as he got to his feet.

Naruto looked to Choji, and did a double-take. The boy now resembled a balloon more than a human being. He floundered and jiggled, and was absolutely enormous.

Naruto stared in a muted kind of awe.

And then the audience began to laugh.

Naruto blinked at this. Choji had been clever. He had made a bad bet because Naruto had managed to stay in the ring and Choji, now, seemed immobile and unable to defend himself.

But it had been clever and Naruto had never been hit so hard in his life.

And no one laughed when Ino or Shino made a bad bet.

What was funny about having the stuffing knocked out of you by what in effect was a near-sonic body slam?

Choji frowned, flushed, and concentrated on undoing the jutsu.

But he was still learning, and could not shrink again so easily.

When the other students figured that out, something happened that was honestly beyond Naruto's expectations. The laughter redoubled and the jeers began.

Naruto stared around in bewilderment.

And the jeers became progressively worse.

Choji tried to defend Baika no Jutsu. He tried to defend his whole clan. No, his jutsu wasn't useless. His family was too good at things other than getting fat. He wasn't fat. At least, he wasn't fatter than he needed to be. It was – no he was serious. Stop it. Don't say that. My dad is a great ninja. He wrestles sea-gods and stomps armies and builds sandcastles 500 ft high. It's not funny. No we don't all wobble around – It's just that I'm still learning. Cut it out. Cut it out.

It's not funny.

And all of a sudden, it clicked for Naruto that yes – this was happening. Yes, he had not been knocked unconscious from Baika no Jutsu and dreamed up current events. This was reality.

And Naruto yelled to the point of almost screaming, the simple words: STOP IT!

And they did.

They stared at him in muted surprise more than fear or apprehension.

Naruto looked to the gaggle of girls that had been the worst of it, smothering his anger and calming his breath. "Stop it." He said again, in a more normal tone. "That is Choji's heritage. That's a gift from all the family that came before him. From one generation to another. They passed it on because they wanted to help their children. And you _shouldn't_ make fun." And Naruto sought out Sakura's eyes in particular. "You're nicer than that."

Sakura averted her eyes, and looked down.

Naruto looked back and considered Choji. Naruto knew he had thrown his left fist in front of him when the Baika no Jutsu had gone off. It was not a proper punch, but Naruto didn't think he'd done any damage. He could attack Choji's head. After all, that had not expanded and presumably, it would be as vulnerable as ever. More, in fact, because the other boy seemed to now be immobile.

But Naruto could not let it end like that.

This had gone beyond cheap-shots.

Well… it was true that cheap-shots were the bread and butter for a ninja.

But this had gone beyond being ninja, too.

This was about family. About pride and fidelity and being able to look yourself in the mirror tomorrow and not be ashamed. Both for him, and for Choji.

No, this would not end with a blow to the other boy's head, when he was expanded and could not defend it. Naruto would let the other boy shrink and if he expanded again then Naruto would strike the gut. It would be strength against strength. Uzumaki to Akimichi.

Not to show which was superior, but to show that neither was inferior.

And indeed, Naruto surmised, Baika no Jutsu seemd to use the laws of 'expansion' and 'physical force' and it was nothing short of a localized explosion.

_I'm sorry father,_ Naruto thought to himself as Choji finally shrunk, reached up to wipe his eyes, and took a stern and dedicated look that Naruto had never seen on his friend before. _Maybe not today._

* * *

A/N:I know the A/N is long. Nobody complain. Fanfic for fun = A/N's for fun. That's the rule now.

I love this story. It makes me tingly inside. If I was this good back when I started writing Tsunade's Heir the first 8 chapters would have been… well, longer for one. Which is not necessarily a good thing. But there would have been more soul.

For people that are like, 'where did he get that blood density = iron thing from?' You can blame History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi (the manga).

Anyway, the poll thing. I know I said I'm not using the poll as a hard constraing for the pairing. And I'm not. But I'm bewildered. What's up with the Tenten love? I don't mean that offensively. I mean that bewilderingly. Hinata is shy and insecure, Sakura is a tomboy class-representative with a paper fan and a marshmallow centre. What is Tenten? What makes Tenten Tenten? What makes people like Tenten? Is it because she's a rare character?

Since seal crafting and weapon crafting seem to go hand in hand, I did think of this pair before. They would be brought together by convergent interests. But weapons are what Tenten does, not who she is. We could say that she loves weapons. But then I remembered that someone had done it already.

I remember there was a Naru/Tenten that someone wrote… probably on TFF, and it was Naruto as a sealmaster and tenten as his girlfriend. They would come up with weapon ideas together, and every time Naruto made a new explody thing she would get hot and jump him. It was better than it sounds, and it sounds pretty much fantastic already so you can imagine.

My problem is I can't see any other way of doing it. I mean, I don't mind walking a path someone else cleared. I write fanfiction after all. But I can only see myself doing it the _exact same _way. And it would end up as a crackficky kind of pairing. And this isn't a crackfic. Yet. What is her soul? What gives her vibrancy? Nothing seems to fit. I throw ideas on her character and they just sort of slide off. Like she's made of some kind of character-based teflon. Like the universe itself wants her to be bland.

Blandness? Normal!Tenten? So normal and down to earth that she's… not exactly tsukkomi-ing people but… I don't know. Normalcy stands out in a town of wierdos? Stability?

Hey. she seems flat-chested. And, by the infallible laws of otakuland, there is that implication that flatchest = tsundere. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to perpetuate stereotypes about fictional characters, but think about all the tsundere characters you know. Okay, now think about the law of otakuland. You know I'm right. But would Tenten actually work as a tsundere?

The only thing I could say for sure is that she would wear a cheongsam. Cheongsams make everything 100x more excellent.

Does she get a personality in Shippuden and I am just (unsurprisingly) uninformed? I love pre-timeskip but I don't really follow shippuden. I honestly found out that the Uzumaki were a sealing clan like, a week ago. And that was because someone mentioned it in a forum. That's why I'm making this story just now.

My point is: what's her selling point, exactly? Does she have one? Is the appeal that I would have to come up with a selling point for her?

Is it just her hair buns?

You know, I almost decided to do NaruAnko. Except it was going to be Anko with this odd cutesy side that she's embarrassed about and hides. And she would try to perpetuate the misconception that she was soiling the last Uzumaki with her cradle-robbing ways when in reality they just hold hands and have a non-physical and deeply emotional relationship based on needs of mutual emotional support stemming from their similarly dark and lonely pasts.

No, wait, that sounds ridiculous. But I recognize that I didn't put Anko in the poll.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm going to be honest here. I'm pretty much running out of inspiration. There's still a few more things, but nothing that lights a fire under my ass. And I have other things to worry 'bout. So updates now probably… who knows. Maybe in a week or a month or something. I'll reiterate that all the seals and plot points and so on are up for grabs if anyone else wants a boost to get in on the Uzumaki!Naruto bandwagon. And yes, it is a bandwagon. There are other fics out there. But not nearly enough, no.

* * *

Chapter 4

Uzumaki Vs. Akimichi

* * *

As Choji slowly returned to normal size at last, Naruto unstrapped the two gloves from his hands and threw them out of the ring. He didn't need the 'gather' any more. It had been identified with blood and he didn't think the iron fist trick was going to help. The 'adhere' would have been useful to keep him in the ring, but it was on his dominant hand and it did constrain his brushwork.

And he couldn't have that.

Naruto decided he would show Choji the best of his work as an Uzumaki.

And he knew, again as if sentences had passed whole between them, that Choji would show Naruto his best as an Akimichi.

Naruto opened his utility pouch and held his inkbrush in his right hand, then popped opened a small inkwell in his left.

Choji stood in a different stance, now with palms opened and facing Naruto, and stared at him.

Naruto inked his brush and stood in his own stance, turned to the side and staring hard at over the inkbrush he held pointed towards the other boy.

Then they ran at each other.

Naruto dodged Choji's opened palm strike by sliding beneath the blow. As he did so, he reached up and slashed the jagged stroke of 'the uneven pressure' onto Choji's chest before rolling away.

The two stood and stared, a small distance again between them. Choji glanced down at his shirt, noting the mark with some trepidation.

Naruto slid forwards. It was a particular Uzumaki movement, low to the ground and sudden. It was meant to slip in to the enemy's guard in a sudden manner while maintaining acceptable brush posture.

And Naruto slashed 'the opposite pressure' onto Choji's chest.

The hair on Choji's neck stood on end in that moment, and with a desperate lunge, he managed to intercept Naruto's left palm as it headed for the now completed seal.

Choji yanked Naruto by the wrist, until the boys were almost nose-to-nose.

Eye-to-eye.

And Choji saw fear there in Naruto's face.

And respect.

Naruto reached behind himself for a scroll.

Choji released Naruto's hand and formed a quick seal.

"Baika no Jutsu!"

If Naruto had been sent tumbling by the first Baika no Jutsu, the second sent him flying.

Only the fact that he had already charged the storage scroll behind his back kept him in the ring, for the moment it hit the floor its contents were released.

And Naruto's progress was halted as he slammed back-first into a large sealing rock.

And the world went dim.

* * *

The world swam back into focus for Naruto. He was shaking as he stood up.

Brilliant, he thought. Dragging him to the closest proximity before using the Baika no Jutsu. Making it count.

Choji understood something of the rules of the world. He understood that the force of an expansion was more concentrated and powerful depending on proximity.

This thought in mind, Naruto sought to get his feet under him. It was then he saw that Choji was just returning to normal size.

He must have been out for about a minute, then.

"I'm glad you're okay." Choji said.

"Yeah." Naruto replied as he stood, shakily. "Don't worry about it. You're… kind, Choji." Naruto admitted. "But today you should be kind to your ancestors. And me… I'll be kind to mine."

Choji said nothing to this. He just clenched his fists, nodded, and started to run for Naruto.

Naruto just raised his left hand into a half seal and concentrated.

The seal of 'the warm' was not the strongest by any means. Nor was it the easiest to draw, with each jagged line having a particular ratio of each spike that was to be maintained.

But it was the easiest to charge from a distance.

And the easiest to overcharge, too.

Choji stopped in his tracks, and clutched at his collar.

Air seemed to fly out of Choji's green jacket. It was as if something had exploded inside and needed to escape. But that wasn't what was happening.

It was simply the escape of heated air.

Choji screamed.

Naruto tapered back. If Choji would give up then –

But the boy proved that his mass was not as comprised of fat as most people thought. There was good muscle there, too. He ignored the scalding metal of his jacket zipper and ripped the garment off in a desperate show of force. Then he threw it to the floor.

And there it conflagrated.

And as Choji panted, he looked up at Naruto. Or, he tried to. But Naruto was not before the rock anymore. The rock stood by itself, and drawn on its surface seemed to be another seal he couldn't make out, with a kunai struck into it.

In reality the seal was 'the gather'. The kunai was stabbed into the 'identity'.

And Naruto had since moved to position Choji between himself and the rock.

Choji spun.

Naruto threw a practice kunai. It was blunt, but with a one handed seal Naruto activated 'the gather' and suddenly every kunai in the school became attracted to a certain rock.

The gathered students fought to keep their equipment pouches attached to their pants.

And Naruto's airborne attack sped up as if by magic.

Startled by the kunai's mid-flight acceleration, Choji barely managed to deflect with his arm guards. The kunai spun wide, curved in an unnatural arc, and flew at the rock behind Choji.

The Akimichi hadn't time to notice this. He hadn't time to think. Lightning fast kunai throws were flying at him, and it was all he could do to deflect and dodge.

He tried to move to the side, but Naruto would simply throw the kunai in a different arc.

It was strange.

Arcing kunai and projectiles that seemingly changed their speed mid-flight were never discussed by the academy or even his clan. It was beyond the pale. It wasn't something Choji had ever thought to prepare himself for.

Choji backed up as he tried to deal with the successive attacks.

It wasn't that Naruto had gotten any better at throwing kunai, or any stronger. It was that his force wasn't alone anymore.

The world itself was helping Naruto throw kunai at Choji.

Within this situation, Choji pressed on. The kunai tips were dull, so he would receive more bruises than cuts, and he pressed on.

He could end it with a forfeit, like so many times before. But not today.

Not today.

And as Naruto reached into his equipment pouch and came up empty, Choji fought not to collapse in relief. He fought to keep a steady stance and voice, as he felt that today, at least, he was representing more than a hundred years of Akimichi pride.

He panted, but it couldn't be helped. At least he kept his voice steady. "You're out of kunai." Choji explained.

"I'm an Uzumaki." Naruto replied evenly, unclasping a thin scroll from behind his back. The young boy spun and danced it over his palm with an almost absentminded air as he brought it to level before him. "I don't _ever_ run out of _anything_."

And so saying, he unsealed a small armory of practice kunai.

And all the little, dulled hunks of metal began to drag themselves off the floor to accelerate into the Akimichi like a rocketing, localized thundercloud of iron and steel.

Choji used Baika no jutsu.

* * *

The torrent of metal nailed Choji in the gut, but each individual one wasn't as harsh as when Naruto threw them. Back then the kunai had been using both the seal's force and Naruto's.

But Naruto was beginning to make up for that. Choji saw the other boy with his hand in a half-seal, pointed in his direction.

And, somehow, the kunai became more and more forceful than before.

And Choji knew he could quit.

And, as he felt the kunai dig deeper into his jutsu enhanced gut, he knew that he would much _prefer _to quit.

But he couldn't.

Not today.

Choji grit his teeth. His jutsu might look silly. It might get laughed at. But it wasn't the jutsu's fault. It wasn't his ancestor's fault.

It was his.

He couldn't show people just how cool it really was to be able to become _bigger_. To become _more_ than before – all in a moment.

But today.

_Today_.

Choji took a deep breath and, with a cry, poured reserves he didn't know he had into Baika no Jutsu.

And he redoubled _again_.

And, as close as he was to the rock which held the 'gather' seal, he crushed it with his new girth.

And between that loss of old force and this explosion of new force, the mass of kunai in Choji's gut bounced away. Some flew at the bystanders. More flew over their heads.

Most returned to Naruto.

* * *

Time slowed down as adrenaline kicked up to high-gear. Even so, Naruto smothered his shock. No time for shock.

The teacher was already moving, but the real danger was before Naruto.

So the real victims would be behind him, if he dove to the side.

He could just about manage the move, too, because he was alert and on his feet.

But the people behind him weren't.

He blinked, for some reason. Even in the middle of all this, he blinked.

And in that moment, behind his eyelids, flashed two images.

One: the gaggle of girls behind him.

Two: his father. His father was holding a piece of paper, but Naruto couldn't make out what was on it. And the man's face was indistinguishable.

Naruto's eyes opened.

The kunai were still coming. The window of opportunity was closing.

And Naruto raised his arms before his face.

_I'm sorry father,_ Naruto thought. _No 'A' today._

_Something came up._

* * *

A/N: Okay. Find a mirror and look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that you haven't become a total fanboy/fangirl for Uzumaki!Naruto. Tell yourself his one-liner about never running out of anything didn't make you want to find a small room in your house and dedicate it as a shrine to the Uzumaki!Naruto. Can't do it, can you? It's impossible. Stop lying to yourself. Uzumaki!Naruto is already a tag. A tag in your heart. This is probably the second most excellent thing I've ever written. Those that follow Tsunade's Heir know what the first most excellent thing is, already.

This was never meant to be an action fic. It's Drama/Familly and honestly I thought it would mostly comprise of Naruto setting up shop and selling things to ninjas. Seriously.

This whole fight sequence was never meant to be such a big deal. Naruto was going to curb stomp people using research and the flexibility of seals and gimmicky things like honey for Shino's bugs, but he was going to go too far in his desperation for recognition from the memory of his father and explosive tag Sasuke's kneecap off. Then drama would ensue. That was going to be the focus. But at some point the story did that thing where it hijacks my computer and starts writing itself. And of course, I get stuck in front of my computer until 3am because the story needs me, too, as an input device. Sigh. Before I knew it, the fight became personal in a kind of… family pride way. But yes, this is the kind of combat that I envisioned for Sealing!Naruto. Well, this or him recreating Haru's Explosion and Silfarion swords. But if he has those, then he pretty much has to explicitly fight kages that are also jinchuuriki and are on magical rare-candy steroids… in order to keep the fights fair. Believe me, I'm sorely tempted. Well, maybe not Silfarion. Silfarion would be pretty broken if you could super-speed draw seals all over everything. Or, oh hell, Runesave. The sealing sword + knowledge of seals. My god. I can imagine him cutting the gravitational constant out of people and watching them float to the heavens. That and threatening to stab the Shinigami to death. I can literally see it in my mind right now. No, I would definitely need to power them down if Naruto made them. Which makes sense, I guess, since he couldn't make Rave and could only jury-rig a workaround at best.

Other, less serious ideas include: 1. Sealing the Shiva GF from FF8. And 2. creating KOS-MOS after finding a Xenosaga manga in some ruins. She would be made out of a sand-country puppet, technology from spring country, a lot of seals, and the joint resources of all the elemental countries in their bid to create something capable of opposing Madara. Can you say rasenshuriken-based X-Cannon? Knew you could.

Ah, a reviewer asked me a question, but wasn't logged in so I can't return pm him. Anyways they asked me to rank Naruto's loyalties out of the natural world, his clan, the village. I would have to say that it would be, from most to least loyal: Nature, clan, village. Just like that. Tough call between nature and the clan though. And when I say nature I mean the basic laws and interactions of nature, not fluffy animals and trees nature. And this doesn't mean he would blow up the village for nature's sake. He's a nice guy.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay. So I've got 3 Naruto stories going right now. I'm not sure of which one my poll actually reflects to what degree. Haku got popular somehow. Tenten still is. Harem will always be. As for final pairings, I remain undecided. But I will try to spark some budding romance with everyone including Tenten and probably Haku so that I can feel out what can work naturally in the end.

* * *

Chapter 5

Note to Self

Sasuke stared at his 'opponent' and was overcome with a sense of…

_Wrongness. _

"I'm not going to say…" Sasuke began "anything bad about your family technique. And I'm not going to say anything bad about your heritage... But I think we both know that you aren't the one I should be fighting right now."

Choji stood on shaky legs. This was the final match of the freestyle rankings matches. He had been bruised completely around his midsection while he was expanded. Now that he was back to normal size he was just as bruised, in half the space.

And he was dead on his feet, for sure. But at least he was on his feet. Naruto was in the infirmary. And that thought – the thought of the opponent that had been so powerful and noble – was enough to keep Choji on his feet.

He had fought hard with Naruto. He had won. He felt… he wouldn't be much of a human being if he started taking it easy now.

Sasuke continued to stare at the large boy. "Your technique. It's incomplete. And mine… mine isn't." Sasuke brought his hands together in a tiger seal. "I can burn you down. Your jutsu won't protect you from non-physical damage such as heat. Give up."

Choji grit his teeth. "Not today."

Sasuke nodded.

The teacher started the match.

Choji fell in a ball of fire.

* * *

The Kyuubi, Naruto thought, was at least good for something. It got him out of the hospital before he had to endure anymore of that damn thing they called food. Choji had been put in the bed beside him, and if possible the other boy had been even more distraught at the meals. But he had eaten anyways. It was tradition, Choji had said, never to waste _edible _food.

Naruto had been prepared to argue the definition of _edible _but all the same…

All the same…

Naruto sighed.

Oh whatever. It didn't matter. None of it.

He wanted to succeed. To win. To get a good grade and…

He had lost. Simple as that. He had lost. He had tried so hard too.

He didn't blame Choji. If it had been a straight up fight Naruto would have nailed the Akimichi where he was weak and have been fresh to fight for the #1 spot. But it wasn't Choji's fault. Choji had been swept up, too. The audience had made the fight what it was – a clash of clans and determination.

But it didn't matter. Because he had lost. Not only that, the injuries were so severe they were going to postpone the next freestyle rankings. There was no way he could come out on top in the regular rankings, either. Without his seals…

And that, really, was the kicker. Getting a good mark was _such a big deal _for him. It was _so hard_.

He had to work and scrape for a shot and then when it all came down, something went wrong and he _couldn't handle it_.

Compared to his _father_…

God, his father was _amazing_.

Rookie of the year, _every year_. Straight 'A's in subjects not _even _on the main curriculum. Graduated at 10. The kind of genius that appeared once a generation.

How was Naruto supposed to deal with that?

How was he supposed to make someone like that proud? If he could make a good start, then maybe, had been his thoughts. But now?

It was unimaginable.

Naruto made his walk towards the trees behind the Academy, his mood darkening a shade with every step. It was a Sunday and he saw no one else around. That suited him just fine.

And with a grunt he broke his right arm's cast on the hard wooden practice log.

And then he broke the left.

They stung a little bit, his hands.

But they weren't that bad.

The Kyuubi.

The damn Kyuubi.

Such a bane to everything he ever wanted. But so powerful.

And Naruto had that. He had that power locked up inside him. He was siphoning a little bit and it helped bolster his healing and his already high Uzumaki level of chakra. So Naruto had some extra help.

And he was still. So. Weak.

Find point A. Find point B. And just work from here to there. And it didn't matter how far 'there' was. That was how he lived his life. But could he, this time? Would it even matter if he got the 'A', if he had to work so _hard_ to get there?

In anger and drive to become stronger, Naruto began to punch the log with his recovering hands.

It hurt, of course, but not too much. And he had to _do _something.

He just had to.

So he continued to punch the log. It was just him, his little bit of pain, and the rhythmic thumping sound of training.

It put him somewhat at ease.

But not totally.

And then, after a while of this, he heard a softer sound behind him.

He turned to find a small green rabbit statue with a small white card in its mouth. It's thin white form required some wrapping of text, as if he was reading poetry instead.

_Get well soon. And don't give up. _

_I know it's hard when you don't do _

_as well as you wish you could._

_But you're so very brave and strong._

_And I'm sure you'll do better next time._

Such simple words. But somehow, they seemed to convey heart despite their printed nature. But who would –

And as Naruto turned the card over, he got his answer.

_Thank you for protecting us._

One of the girls he had blocked the kunai for.

Huh.

He stared at the card. He picked up the little green rabbit. He stared at the log. Back to the card again.

And then he took a deep breath and a single step back.

And took a good long look at himself.

* * *

There was a test that needed handing back and the teacher asked for help. Naruto immediately volunteered. He couldn't say that he knew everyone's name in class, but he had put his hand up first so he got the job.

He sorted though them and walked from seat to seat distributing them.

Hinata tried not to blush when he leaned over her to place the paper on her desk instead of handing it to her.

She did not succeed.

But as he moved his hand away she did manage to notice what had lied underneath his palm.

A note he placed on her paper. She recognized the shape of the small white card.

And with trembling hands, she took it up.

_I hope you don't mind. I understand you _

_might have wanted to be anonymous._

_ I'll try to be anonymous too._

_But I just wanted to say 'you're welcome'._

_And I just wanted to say 'thank you.'_

_You said I was 'brave and strong' but _

_I'm going to be totally sincere with you. _

Hesitatingly, Hinata looked over her shoulder. Naruto was behind her, faced away, and handing a paper back to Shino in the corner.

Hinata's heart was racing so fast. She couldn't believe how fast it raced. Surely it could not withstand beating this fast more than just once in her whole life. And that one time was now.

Her trembling increased as she turned the card over.

_I felt like I was out of bravery at the time. _

_And you lent me some. Enough to get back on my feet. _

_And I guess what I want to say is that_

_ if you ever need a hand or a little courage back from me, _

_then just come find me. And I'll help. I promise you._

_P.S. You have very distinct writing. It's pretty._

_You must practice calligraphy or the sealing arts._

"N-Naruto-kun" Hinata breathed. He was so…

She held the treasure carefully to her chest for a moment, and when she closed her eyes she could swear – could _swear _– that she felt some of his strength seep into her.

She let out a shuddering breath before she tucked it away very carefully and very safely in her left jacket pocket.

And she tried not to blush to the point of almost passing out.

She did not succeed.

* * *

Hiashi attacked his daughter when she came home from school. He held back, of course. He used only the carefully rationed force and speed that he wanted her to overcome. Her immediate response involved no such overcoming.

Firstly, Hinata 'eep'ed.

Which was rather undignified for a Hyuuga.

After that, she scrambled away from his assault while asking him to wait. She activated her Byakugan on her very first try.

Hiashi didn't stop.

She performed a pivot step and tried to slide past him as she pleaded that she needed to put her things away.

Hiashi didn't stop. She was doing better than usual. That was a good maneuver. He was pleased to infer that surprise attacks seemed to bypass his daughter's hesitance, somehow.

She yelled that she would fight him in a minute. That she would fight him all day. All week. But he _had _to let her put her things away. He just had to.

Hiashi didn't stop. He struck forth towards her waist, right over her left jacket pocket.

And Hinata screamed "no!" desperately, before defying everything he ever thought he knew about her and ramming her left index and middle fingers into his opened palm. She leaned in to do so, throwing her back and waist into the blow. It was a full-bodied strike.

Her form was off. She broke both her fingers.

But her chakra struck so deeply that it successfully disabled his entire right hand.

But even then, Hiashi didn't stop. She had never gotten this far, but he would not praise her. He would let them both see how far she could exactly go. In that same restrained degree of power, he raised his left arm to strike.

Hinata defied his expectations again, because she grit her teeth and threw her forehead into the blow. In a real fight this would be a fatal error against a jyuuken practitioner. In practice, Hiashi could not perform jyuuken on his own daughter's head.

And then Hinata reached up with her right hand and wrenched Hiashi's wrist into dislocation.

Hiashi finally stopped. He stared at his daughter in what could only be awe.

She stared back at him in desperation and nervousness and remorse. And she said she was sorry.

But she really did have to put her things away.

* * *

A/N:Everyone gets that the thing Hinata has to put away is that note from Naruto, right?

I love how this story writes. I don't know why I can't write this way in any other story. It's just got it's own tone that has somehow stuck. I don't just mean it's waff, although I'll adress that in a second. I mean it's briefness. I really like the brevity of the text when I write this but I can't seem to copy the tech over to anywhere else. Like wtf?

As to the fuzzy: This story is just so **adorable!** Seriously, if it got any more warm-fuzzy I think I could fry an egg on it.

I need to stop writing waff. Next chapter should focus on sasuke and how no one can understand the pain he feels. The pain of - never mind. That's idiotic. Next chapter can just involve explosions or boring class or shopkeeping or something.


	6. Chapter 6

Ahhh. So I'm back. Taking time to update my sideprojects. Updated the Zelda one, now this one. Tommorow prolly the eva one. I have the update actually but I have to do a re-read and stuff... it's more annoying than you'd think. My BETA is more of an idea and advice guy than an actual preread guy...

I also started an evangelion crossover ideas fanfic...

* * *

Chapter 6

It's an Explosive Battle

"Okay class. Today we're going to start in on sealing and begin to talk about the explosive tag."

Naruto perked up instantly.

The teacher moved about in the front of the class, handy chalk stick in hand. "Now," he said as he began to draw a basic seal on the board. "Seals are the language of the gods."

"Not exactly." Naruto said, out of reflex more than anything.

The teacher paused, and raised an eyebrow at Naruto. "And what are they, then?"

The class, as one, turned expectantly.

And Naruto became a little nervous. All the same… "It's… Well, the gods are embodiments of certain natural forces. They're avatars. Seals are representatives of natural forces.

"Question!" Sakura announced, raising her had. No one was surprised. Asking questions was pretty much Sakura's role in class. "Are you saying that seals are kind of godly?"

"Sort of. More like, Gods and seals are both kind of nature-y. It's like… seals are like pictures of the gods, or their shadows, or a millionth of a god, or similar kinds of things"

Sakura's hand shot right back up again. "If someone made a seal that was a million times better, would you make a new god?"

There was no pause. "Well sure. But it would have to stretch over the whole main continent, and be charged by enough chakra to summon every boss summon ever known… about thirty times each."

"But you would actually make a god." Sakura clarified. "Like, you would be able to control it?"

"Forcing that much 'law' to gather means that you're already controlling the god."

"Then even though it's really hard, why didn't anyone ever try it before?"

There was a pregnant pause.

The class began to think that Naruto had no answer for the question.

And finally…

"They did." Naruto answered, thickly, and swallowed a feeling that wasn't appropriate for class. "They wanted to create the god of something pretty harmless, the 'unchanged'. They were going to do it to prove the relationship of gods, seals, and nature so well that no one could argue anymore. It was going to be the biggest breakthrough in the natural sciences, philosophy, and religion ever. It was going to be powered by all nine bijuu. The seals were going to run underground, on tectonic plates. But it scared too many people, and they were wiped out. The bijuu were separated, and the presence of more than two in a country became a reason to go to war."

Wide eyed, the class drank this in. "U-Um," Sakura couldn't help herself. She had to ask. "W-Were they your…"

"Yes."

"…Oh."

…Awkward.

"I'm honestly impressed." The teacher interjected, after clearing his throat. "Would you like to teach the class, Naruto?"

Naruto blinked.

"It's extra credit." The teacher bribed. "I'll grade it and –"

Naruto was hooked at 'grade'.

He bounded up to the front of the class.

"From a practical perspective, please." The teacher whispered to him. "We want to lead in to seal charging and explosive tag use."

Naruto considered this, and nodded.

"A seal's power is like filling up a bucket." Naruto explained, thinking back to his own lessons on the subject. "The seal writer's ability will determine how big the bucket is, and the amount of chakra that you put in is the amount of water you put in the bucket. And your understanding of the seal determines how many and how big the holes are… in the bucket. Basically, if you want to charge a seal, you'll need to pour in water faster than it can pour out by the holes in the bucket. Get it? So understanding is important."

"Seals are made up of strokes." Naruto explained, drawing the stroke of 'the gibbous waxing moon'. "And each stroke represents something. Sometimes they represent more than one thing. To charge a seal you need to either understand the strokes that make up the seal, or have a special kind of seal that will basically do the understanding for you connected to the first seal. If seals are like laws or rules, then autoflow seals are like lawyers. They help you handle the law you don't understand, but they charge you a fee."

Sakura's hand shot up.

"Usually somewhere between 10 and 30%" Naruto replied before Sakura could ask her question.

Sakura's hand dropped.

A few seconds later, it shot up again.

"Of everything." Naruto added. "It tends to mess with the integrity of the writing of the main seal, so the bucket would be smaller, and it leaves a larger hole in the bucket as well."

Sakura's hand dropped. Maybe she would just wait until he was done speaking to ask questions. He seemed amazingly on the ball.

"A lot of seals can't be auto flowed." Naruto added. "But the explosive tag can. Actually, the Hokage was part of the group that came up with it. So to charge it, just stuff chakra inside. It will then be primed and the kanji in the centre represents the key thought to activate, 'Baku' or explode, or really anything that gives a sense of explodiness will be just fine. You should know it's not actually kanji in the middle. It's a complex array of seals that provide the autoflow, reformed and shrunk to form 'Baku' for convenience. The sealcrafter fee for the autoseal, really, is where 30% of the cost of these tags come from, by the way. 40% comes from the annoying process to check the level of strength and reliability of the tags, since they all look the same and no one wants to get conned. Then there's a 20% store markup, and only the last 10% of the cost actually pays for the time to write the exploding part of the seal. Well, the point is that explosive tags are a lot of work and cost, so make the best of them. But I think the big part of the problem everyone has, is the whole idea of triggering with 'baku'. I mean, the way it's written, even thinking 'I don't want to think about 'baku' will make the thing blow up so… "

And Naruto continued to teach.

* * *

On the way home that day, Naruto came face to face with a sight by the school gates he hadn't expected to see.

"Sasuke." Naruto frowned. "What do you want?"

A pair of soft 'thud's were his only answer, as a few items fell at his feet.

Naruto stared down at the pair of white fingerless gloves at his feet. He looked up, now on guard. "What is this?"

"Put them on." Was his only reply.

Naruto frowned at his classmate for a while, befure turning his head to the isde and sighing. "There's no point. Forget it."

"The loser," Sasuke began, "will admit to the winner, that they deserve to be #1 in the rankings."

Naruto chuckled dryly. "What's that supposed to mean? It's not like you control the ranking board."

"No. But the winner," Sasuke continued, "will earn the right to _deserve_ to be #1 in the rankings."

Naruto considered this, recalling how it had equated in his mind to the biggest 'A' in school, and affixed Sasuke with a weary stare. "What's in it for you?"

"The same thing as you." The Uchiha produced a sheet from his breast pocket. "I have this peace of paper, that tells me I'm the best… however," he gripped the sheet at the top, in the middle, and pulled.

It ripped before Naruto's wide eyes.

"however, I don't have the right to go with it. I don't deserve it, yet. And it's not as if you and I… have any use for a peice of paper."

That's right.

They had no one to show it to.

Naruto produced his own piece of paper, and his eyes locked on a single pair of lines.

_But you're so very brave and strong._

_And I'm sure you'll do better next time._

Wordlessly, he put the note away.

And Naruto looked back to the gloves on the floor. "They're dirty." He complained as he picked them up out of the dirt, put them on, and brushed them on his pants as he began to circle Sasuke. "You couldn't have just handed them to me?"

Sasuke raised a brow. "I 'threw down the glove'. I thought it was… poetic."

"It was." Naruto admitted. "But I like writing on clean surfaces."

"Then bring your own next time."

Naruto grunted.

"I brought a brush too," Sasuke admitted, "but I don't think you need it."

"Of course." Naruto frowned. "I'm an Uzumaki." He said, as he observed his opponent's smooth gait. With a flick of the wrist, an inkbrush was unsealed and appeared miraculously in his writing hand. "I was born with a brush in my heart. Ink runs through my veins."

"Hmph. Then Uzumaki, you can write whatever you want." Sasuke smirked.

"I _want_ to write what I had that day." The Gather on his left. The Adhere on his right. Bite. Identify The Gather with blood.

And Sasuke's smirk bloomed into a full grown smile, before he performed a quick kata that ended in a stance not taught anywhere in the academy. "Come on, Uzumaki."

"Don't rush me, Uchiha."

* * *

"Tenten-chan!" Lee exclaimed. "Come on!"

"Huh? Cut it out Lee. I have to get to my part-time job."

"Come on!" Lee tugged. "Two young men are engaging in a long-postponed duel of youth and pride!"

"Haaah?"

Tenten wish she had a Lee-to-English dictionary someti – all the time.

But she let herself be dragged off.

Being in the last year of the academy, she was by definition taller than most of the other girls in the large gaggle surrounding two boys in a circle.

"What's going on?" Tenten wondered aloud. "What's the big deal?"

"Sasuke-kun and Naruto are fighting." A blonde to TenTen's left took it on herself to answer. "They didn't get to have it out when the freestyle ranking battles happened, since Naruto and Choji got into this odd macho contest."

"Haaaah?"

Tenten hoped she wasn't starting a habit with the 'haaaah?'s. Then she took a double-take. A fangirl, oh god!

Wait, a _lot _of fangirls!

And they… were… strangely quiet. She made note of this aloud too.

Ino looked over her shoulder at the brunette. "Sasuke-kun is amazing." She said seriously. "But Naruto… you should have seen him. At this point, we're just hoping no one gets too hurt."

Tenten's brows creased.

"Yoooooosh!" Lee yelled. "Can't you feel it, Tenten-chan? The burning energy emanating from them? The tension! The weight in the air, as if destiny itself has arrived to see this epic confrontation to its long-awaited conclusion?"

Tenten gave a dubious look to her friend. Lee, c'mon.

In the circle, Naruto finished writing his seals and took up the familiar stance, turned to the side, right hand pointing his brush at his opponent in challenge.

"Choji?" Naruto suggested.

"All right." Sasuke nodded.

And Choji nervously stepped forwards. "Th-Then… on three. One,"

Naruto tensed.

Sasuke switched stances.

"Two,"

The collective crowd held their breaths.

Except for Lee.

He yelled about youth.

"Three!" And Choji bustled full-speed back into the crowd.

Just as well. Naruto and Sasuke had already burst into action. An alarming storm of kunai and shuriken clashed in the middle of the gathering. Sasuke was throwing three at a time, with each hand, having an equipment pouch strapped to each leg.

Naruto threw one at a time, but he kept up all right, since he didn't have to reach for a pouch. He didn't _have_ a pouch.

After the freestyle ranking battle, he had _upgraded _from the pouch system.

Tenten gasped. "What fast unsealing!"

The associated smoke that signalled some ninja arts went off with frequent cracks, reminiscent of a firecracker chain, before blending entirely into one continuous hum.

"Unbelievable…" Tenten whispered. Others inched away from the clash. She stood, rooted to the spot. A deflected kunai flew at her head. She caught it, and still didn't look away.

One flew at the blonde girl backing away to her left. She caught it, and still didn't look away.

She would not look away.

Sasuke 'tsk'ed. He hadn't expected Naruto to be very good at range, and he wasn't. He was reckless and only threw one thing at a time, but for single-throwing he was _fast as sin_ even while keeping the advantage in power that it represented.

So, on the average, Sasuke was only doing slightly more minor damage than Naruto was dong to him.

And, Sasuke recalled, he _never ran out of anything_.

That was fine, Sasuke didn't exactly need to run out either.

Sasuke rolled to the side, then flipped backwards. One last kunai was thrown in, even as his left pulled hard at the empty air mid-flip.

And in the afternoon sun, Naruto saw the glint of spiderlike threads rise up from the floor, and cursed.

The kunai behind him were pulled up, coming after his back.

In response, Naruto wasted no time in rolling forwards. His left hand flicked out behind him at the end, and his right formed a half seal.

The steel behind him was flung away in a shower of broken steel and fire.

"Eh? An explosive tag?" Tenten exclaimed. "He can already use them properly? Even most people in _my_ year can't use them yet!"

"Of course he can use them," the pinkette ducking behind her said absently, her attention on the fight, "he taught the class for it."

Sasuke began forming handseals.

Naruto 'tsk'ed again, turned away from Sasuke, and in two puffs of smoke, had brought a sheet of clear paper into the air before him and a second brush into his off-hand.

serpent, ram, monkey,

The stroke of 'the inverse everything' with his left hand, even as gently wrote on the paper in mid-air. The mark of 'the stability' with his right.

boar, horse, tiger. A fireball, the diameter of either child, flew across the clearing.

The stroke of 'the swallow' with his left hand. The mark of 'the transpose' with his right, flowing into 'the trigger'.

And Naruto slid under the midair falling paper, raising himself up behind it and pushing it from the back into the approaching inferno.

And in a splash of ember and heat, Gokyaku was consumed.

No one said anything as an unassuming paper fell to the floor.

In the presence of this moment... all words just seemed too feeble.

And in the field of battle Naruto stared at Sasuke, resealing his brushes.

Sasuke stared back.

And, as if some signal had gone off, the two started their dash at eachother at the same moment.

In the middle of the clearing, they met in a flurry of fists and feet.

Sasuke was cautious of Naruto's left hand, which contained the blood 'Gather'. He remembered well how Naruto had used it effectively in the ranking fights.

So he accepted a few hits from the right instead, but made sure to weave around the left and dealt damage to Naruto's torso.

Against an opponent with superior Taijutsu, Naruto was sent staggering back.

But he smiled, as Sasuke advanced towards him.

Naruto flung out his hand, and in a 'puff' of smoke, a sheet of paper went flying at Sasuke's head.

Sasuke flinched, then craned his body backwards desperately to stay out of contact with the unassuming sheet.

Therefore, the sheet fluttered in the wind, and towards the crowd – who screamed unashamedly before someone realized that, hey, there was nothing written on it.

And Naruto stood, and was still smiling as he brought his left hand up – forefinger and middle together.

Sasuke stared at Naruto suspiciously.

Naruto flicked his gaze down.

And Sasuke, a bad feeling compelling him to do so, flicked his gaze down, too.

A discarded paper, made up of the 'the inverse everything', 'the stability', 'the swallow', 'the transpose', and 'the trigger' peeked out from below his footing.

"Shit." The Uchiha swore.

Naruto snapped his fingers unsealing what had been devoured.

And Sasuke fell in a ball of fire.

* * *

A/N: Lolololol.

Sasuke's such a flamer.

Lololololol.

Ehm, oh. Review a song campaign information has been moved to a nice prominent position on the author's page, in bold. If you do for this story then remember to say so, or I'll just assume tsunade's heir or something.

Guiding question: 'what's your favorite line?'

Still trying to figure out how it is that I write this story like I write this story…

Haven't made a lot of progress on that front since the last time… Seriously, wtf?

Uzumaki!Naruto is a totall badass.

I'm trying to figure out if Tenten should have a blacksmith parent (fannon) or be an orphan (I kind of like it) or an immigrant from some country that seems like china… or what.

I do think Naruto will eventually make the Ten Commandments. Because… yes. Because **f*cking yes**. That is all. Ehm, seriously though, I just think there isn't enough of it in the world. They'll probably be separate swords though, and all jury-rigged. Still not sure what the light sword is for, other than… making things bright… and fighting back arcane shadow-based evils… seems kind of specific…

Lastly, let's see... Naruto was originally going to use 'adhere' for a certain thing but I cut it because it was a nice idea that I realized could work just as well in Tsunade's Heir so... yeah... plot cannibalism.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Yeeeaaah, I'm still alive. Haven't kicked it yet.

Lost the original chapter I was going to try to upload. Hadn't uploaded it because it wasn't good enough. Came up with something better so no major loss.

* * *

Chapter 7

Explosions

Naruto bounced to a stop atop the trampoline.

Man, that never gets old, he thought.

It was fun, and his mood was high. So with a bound he hopped off of the trampoline and towards the little video scroll of his parents, kept in their little work sanctuary, a torn sheet paper – with affluent applications of tape and white-out upon it, being smoothed out on the way.

And when his father had said he was sure his son would get A's in school and become a great and upstanding shinobi, as he always did at this part of the movie, Naruto displayed the paper to him.

'First-in-class.'

And upon white-out: 'Uzumaki Narto'

"I won it from Sasuke." Naruto explained. "It's, you know, unoficcial, but I…"

He didn't get to finish.

His mother hit his father and said that he needn't be a ninja or get A's or anything at all so long as he was happy with his life. She would be content if he had a wife who loved him, friends, and a family. And was a 'good young man.'

His father sheepishly agreed, and the happy couple went for icecream.

And Naruto realized...

Nothing had changed.

Well…

Well of course nothing had changed. It was just a movie.

It was so real, down here in the secret dark.

It seemed more real than reality.

But it was just a movie.

It was ink, chakra, and a little bit of time.

And Naruto re-ripped the paper in his hands, parallel to the tape, furiously scratched off the white-out, and tossed two crumpled paper balls over his shoulder.

Sasuke had been right.

They had no one to show it to.

He knew that.

He knew that.

* * *

"Tenten-chan?" Lee asked of his jogging compatriot.

Tenten was silent.

Yesterday had been an amazing spectacle.

But now, in the pale light of her morning one hour marathon jog, the enchantment was gone. The awe was gone.

The bitter taste of comparison had arrived.

"Tenten-chan?"

_They're a year younger than me but... they were both… I mean… _

_I thought I worked hard._

_Geniuses are really…_

"Is it impossible after all?" Tenten muttered.

"Tenten-chan?"

Tenten stopped her jogging and looked at Lee. "Catching up, I mean."

Lee blinked. "No. Gai-sensei is only one lap away. I'm certain that if we work hard-"

"To the geniuses Lee!" Tenten clarified. "The geniuses, the privileged, and the ones with support structures of heritage and heredity. Is it impossible to make it work? To work hard enough to make up for the gap between us?."

"Tenten-chan! I'm certain that from a distance – "

"At range, Lee! They'd take me out at range! God, that's it! That's just it!" She exclaimed. "I can bank-shot a bullseye from 30 paces, but I'm not dumb enough to think that a giant fireball would be less destructive! Explosive tags? Seals? Lee, hello? Wake up! You know what I saw yesterday? I saw two kids my junior that – if I met the field – would literally blow me away."

Lee frowned. "That's not what I saw, Tenten-chan. I saw passion, fire, and determination."

"Yeah, well…" Tenten sighed. "I guess we see the world differently, Lee."

"I guess so…" Lee frowned. "…Tenten-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you close your eyes for half a minute?"

"What? That's… specific." Tenten mused.

"Please? And maybe when you open your eyes again, you'll see things differently."

Tenten sighed and shrugged. "I doubt it."

But close her eyes she did.

And half a minute later she opened them when she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Lee?"

"Osu."

"How did you get behind me?" Tenten asked. "I didn't hear you shuffle behind me. I heard you run off."

"…"

"Did you just… did you just lap the entire route, and then come up behind me, and then tap me on the shouolder?"

"…Osu." Lee bowed deeply. "I'm sorry for hiding it from you Tenten-chan, but I have been using weights."

Tenten just stared. So it was just her left behind, unable to catch up. To Gai. To Naruto. To Lee.

"Tenten-chan…" Lee began hesitantly. "Forgive me for this, but… you lack fire."

"Are you going to give me a fire of youth speech." Tenten deadpanned. It wasn't a question. She wasn't in the mood. She glared.

"…No." He had. "No, I'm not." Lee said defensively. "It's not the kind of thing you can explain, unless you already get it. It comes from in here." He thumped his chest.

"You know I don't get that stuff."

"Y-Youth is an explosion!" Lee declared.

"Oy. I said I don't understand those speeches!"

"It is! It's an explosion!" Lee exclaimed as he struck a Guy-esque pose with all his firey passion, willing his compatriot to _just understand_.

In the background, obediently, an explosion occered that accented his pose perfectly.

…and sent a tree careening through the air.

It fel with a thud and a roll, stopping by their feet. A sign of board and rope hung singed from a broken branch.

'Uzumaki Estate: Beware All Ye Fools Who Enter'

Tenten did a double take. "Hey wait… That's someone's property Lee!"

"I didn't do it!" Lee denied.

"Oh my god, Lee! You blew up their tree! Did you blow up their house too?"

"It was an accident!"

"When did Gai-sensei teach you that exploding background thing, anyways?"

"I don't know, I don't remember learning it!" Lee moaned. "Wait, isn't that ninjutsu? I did it!" He cheered. "Wait – I mean no I didn't!"

"Oh my god, Lee." Tenten complained as she scaled the wall with a pair of climbing claws. "Just… Just oh my god, okay?" She repeated, exhasperated.

She scaled the wall, climbing atop it's wide surface. And as she stood atop it she met… an unfreindly face.

"B-Bear?" Tenten gasped and backpedalled across the top of the wide property seperating wall.

"Really?" Lee exclaimed, rushing up the grappling hook rope. "I always wanted to try fighting a bear.. ANBU?"

"Really?" Naruto's on-site 'shadow' asked. "You want to fight a Bear ANBU? That seems… specific." He mused behind his mask. "And suicidal."

"Um, no sir. Just a regular bear, sir." Lee clarified.

"Oh. That makes more sense."

"Am I in trouble, sir?" Lee asked, gulping.

"That depends entirely on your proficiency on dodging shrapanel."

"Wha- " Lee began to ask, before an explosion caused a small rock to beam him in the side of the head. "Ow." He complained. "Tenten-chan, you let me get hit?" he complained as he looked to his friend.

"I _have_ been blocking for you, Idiot." Tenten gave him a sour look. "My hands were full."

And indeed, she was nestling a comically large collection of shrapanel. "I don't want to just drop these and have them trigger some random trap in there. I think his whole place is rigged to blow."

"Oh."

"Baka. Seriously, use your ears sometimes. Rocks have been exploding every second down there."

"I was distracted." Lee defended. "I thought I was going to have to fight a bear ANBU. So… I didn't do it?" He asked, seeing the cause of the carnage below.

"You didn't do it." Tenten nodded.

"Oh. That's… good."

"He's been using explosive seals." Tenten observed. "I see the remains of tags… and I see 'baku' markes scorched onto the earth. It almost feels like the whole place is rigged with one seal or other, hidden just under the topsoil. But I think he's… out. Out of explosions, and almost out of rocks to explode too." Tenten finihsed, confused despite her explanation. "What is he doing?"

'Bear' turned to the children. "Are you kids classmates of his?" He asked. "Because I think he could use a friend right now."

Yes, Tenten nodded, he probably did.

For Tenten could see, for her eyes were very sharp, the contours of Naruto's face.

The anger, the desperation. Lonliness.

Poor guy.

* * *

It stood there. It mocked him.

'The Jericho.'

The last unexploded rock.

It was a rock he had collected and named. A rock to seal things in. A rock to write seals on. A rock almost as tall as his high compound walls, and a rock that had been a pain in the ass to get into his abode.

And he looked at it now, and coul only see a monolith of wasted time and effort.

"Damn it." He swore, punching it again. "Damn it!"

And each punch was a 'Damn it." And as they ramped up in speed, they melded into just 'Damn', and eventually into just wordless grunts of dissatisfaction as he struck again and again.

_Why did I bring you here. Why did I bring… any of these damn rocks here! _

_Because a seal told me to?_

_A movie?_

_They're pictures!_

_They're ink and chakra, and a little bit of time!_

_They **told **me that!_

_I **knew **that!_

_But I took them as the gospel! I took them as family!_

_They're not talking to me! They're just teaching me!_

_I knew that!_

_But still I... I don't know what I expected. _

_I expected **something!**_

_But that's because I'm **stupid!**_

_I have no family left!_

_I knew that!_

_Why have I tried… so **hard** all this time? What am I **racing **towards? _

_There's nothing there! _

_I thought I was sealing for sealing's sake but… _

_But that's just a lie! The art is amazing, but I'm not running myself ragged because I **enjoy **it!_

_When did I start to seek approval… from pieces of paper?_

_When did I start to believe in the fantasy, and belittle my parent's death?_

_And **why** did I bust my back collecting… all these **stupid **rocks!_

_Shit, I'm such a fool!_

"You're not a fool." Tenten whispered, holding his arm.

_So I said that out loud?_

"You're still saying it out loud." Tenten whispered. "And there's nothing wrong with trying hard, either. I think it's very impressive."

_Damn it._

_Damn it._

Tenten held him.

Upon the wall, 'Bear' gave a low whistle. "You know kid, I have to say… walking up to an Uzumaki, in their own compound, carving a giant explosive seal out of giant rock with his bare fists? Takes guts. Takes kage-sized balls of steel." 'Bear' observed. "I'll admit it because my identity is obscured, but I almost pissed myself when she jumped down there and started weaving through homing trap-kunai and illusionary dragons that spewed real fire…" 'And 'Bear' turned to Lee. "Your friend is quite something."

"Absalutely." Lee nodded. "When she really tries she's unstoppable. She's just not the type of person that get's fired up over herself."

* * *

A/N: The title, 'explosions' has was chosen for 3 references:

1. youth is an explosion - Lee

2. naruto exploding things

3. naruto's emotional explosion

From the moment Naruto started his A quest, this fallout was always meant to happen.

Tenten? Yeah, I can work with this. If your wondering what the character template for her is, it's "Rational straight-man, orphan, with a dash of tsundere." as of right now. It had the most appeal at the time, and the most prominent cannon trait I could extract was that she was team 8's 'rock of stability'. She reigns Gai and Lee in. And the databook says she's really fast, but that's neither here nor there for right now.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Ima try and write this really fast. I got 2 main projects and 2 side ones as it is. And damn if that isn't too much.

Again, will someone awesome adopt this awesome premise?

Also. Short chapter, but u gonna need 2 accept it b/c at least u get chapter.

* * *

Chapter 8

Harassment!

Tenten sat behind the counter. How had she gotten here? How had it all come to this?

It had happened so fast.

Stupid Lee and his obsession with youthful schoolyard conflicts had gotten her tied up watching a fight that was – to be fair – really pretty awesome.

The downside to that of course was that she had been late to work _again_. And worse than that – at least according to her employer – she had failed to advertise the shop in such a large impromptu gathering of spectators.

So she got fired.

She was an orphan, and she did get provided for to a degree, especially on the shinobi scholarship program, but kunai didn't just buy themselves.

And then she gad gotten involved with a crying sealer exploding things.

… looking back on it, that had been pretty damn reckless.

She couldn't really think of what could be more dangerous than a crying sealer exploding things.

But she had gotten involved and...

* * *

Naruto sighed. It had taken him longer than he cared to recount, but he had cooled down... with some help. "Th-Thanks." He said as he pulled away from the stranger's embrace. "I... appreciate it." And with a huff he tossed himself backwards, flat on his back onto the uneven ground and breathed a deep sigh as he stared at the sky. "Man... I feel all... messed up. I never really... mourned them, you know? My family. I didn't really understand. And then, I had all these pictures and stuff, and I understood it all wrong. And I never... mourned them." He frowned. "I'm going to need black clothes now. I'll have to buy some. Where do you _buy _depressing clothes?"

Tenten laughed awkwardly. "Oh, I don't know. Here or there? I'm sure it's common enough."

"Mn." Naruto nodded. "But thanks again. Seriously. I'm not just saying it."

"Oh. Don't worry about it."

"I mean it though. In fact, I want to pay you back somehow."

"I really didn't jump down here looking for anything like that." Tenten laughed awkwardly. "Come on, you're making me blush."

"Isn't there anything you need? A barrier for your house? I could seal your tool-shed into a coin. We in the art call them coinsheds. I'm good at moving really big rocks too, somehow..."

"No, no. I'm just your regular, unemployed kunoichi in training!" Tenten grinned sheepishly. "I don't need anything special."

"...Unemployed?" Naruto sat up. "I'm hiring."

"Eh?" Tenten blinked. "No. I don't... that wouldn't be right and well I – I didn't even bring my resume!"

"Don't need it." He dismissed, taking her hand in his and turning it over. "This is better."

Slowly, he traced the line of her palm.

Tenten shivered. "S-Stop that!" She blustered as she pulled away. "Not even employed yet, and already harassment!"

"Sorry." Naruto smiled. "Forgot that girls are weird."

"Excuse me?"

"Anyways, you're hired. It's a storefront position. Minimum wage. After school hours. Oh, and remember, you're selling weapons of death and tools of survival in the harshest of environments so... service with a smile!"

"Eh?"

"As for benefits, just ask me for help with things. Like I said, I'm good with seals and moving really big rocks."

"Eh?"

"Do you want the position?"

"All you did was caress my hand!" Tenten objected.

"You have callouses." Naruto replied immediately.

"Eh?"

"On your hand. You have callouses." He repeated, taking her hand again. "See here? Kunai loop. And here, the handle. Shuriken. Fuma shuriken. Katana. You're a specialist and... you don't use gloves. Most kunoichi, they use gloves when they practice."

Tenten flushed. "I didn't... I wanted to. I'm not _proud _of my hands you know. They're all... unfeminine. But the gloves got in the way, and were too much of a bother. Before I knew it..."

"You _should_ be proud." Nruto insisted. "They suit you, I can tell. Although we just met, it's still really plain. They're just like you."

"What, unfeminine?"

And he grinned as he still held her hand. "Hard working."

* * *

Yeah, Tenten sighed.

So now she had a crush on her boss. Which was awkward because he was a year younger and, to be honest, she knew boys didn't think about that stuff until like, a year older than her.

_And_ he was her boss.

Although...

She looked around.

...'boss' was a little stretch. She didn't really do anything around here. The shop had been pretty much deserted since opening. A few people had come in to inquire about the 'Master' as they called him.

Half left when they found he was eleven, and still in training.

The other half waited for her to track Naruto down and went into the 'study' with him – a back room of the shop – and booked further appointments.

Most of her human interaction actually came from lost tourists or kids that were wandering around playing shinobi and renegade.

Tenten sighed. Maybe she could get some fliers together or something.

Come to think of it, that sign out front of the compound said 'beware, all ye fools who enter.'

Wasn't that kind of sending the wrong message?

It was then that the door's little chime warning rang.

Tenten sighed, lifted her face out of where it rested on an open palm, and said – even though she expected it to be another kid looking for free kunai they shouldn't have - "Irasshaimase!"

And a blond haired, green robed _Legend _appeared.

She slammed the door open with herculean force – so clearly the door itself had a seal of invulnerability or some such – and said loudly the most precious three words in her life:

"Make. Me. Lucky!"

* * *

A/N: You know what I hate? I hate when people confess and get together at the exact end of the story.

For the relationship there's too much beginning, not enough middle, and of course there often isn't an end - but that last part is kind of ok with me.

This is a good opportunity. I've got nothing better to do – it's pretty much a story of 'plot? Wtf, don't bother me with that shit.'

So let's just hook people up. Let's just have one say 'Yo. Let's go out.' And the next person should just be like '(O.o) OOOOkay." or "(O.o) *faint*"

Naruto x Tenten or Naruto x Hinata. Ima go toss a coin now. Heads is Hinata, because it starts with H. Tails is Tenten because ditto.

No, not really. Don't be silly. That would be nothing but chance.

Ima go consult my wise and precise magic 8 ball.

No, not really. Like I have something that awesome. Ima go consult a fortune cookie.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Bugups.

This chapter was meant to be 1,000 words, or a montage chapter of various shop scenes.

Yeah. I don't know either. Sometimes this just happens.

* * *

Chapter 9

The Uzumaki Big Book of Seals

Tenten stared at the imposing figure that had barged so brazenly into her (amazingly) dull existence.

It was no secret to anyone that knew her, but Tenten was an avid fan girl of the Legendary Brawler, Tsunade of the Sannin.

She had all the memorabilia: the shirts, the action figures (Tsunade didn't do dolls), the medical thesis papers (which Tenten didn't understand, of course), and the little Tonton plushie doll.

Tenten was a dreamer and an admirer, deep down.

And this was her focal point.

And, standing there in the door with her majestic and commanding prescience, trailed by her faithful assistant and pet, she was _everything_ Tenten ever expected.

"Is the Master in?" Tsunade demanded. "Well?"

Tented opened her mouth, but no words seemed enough. She closed it again. Her chin, which had been resting in boredom upon an open palm… was slipping off of suddenly sweaty hands.

Tsunade leaned in, to inches from the stupefied shop girl's face. "Hello? Anyone there?" She snapped her fingers before wide eyes. "Optical response nominal. What are you, a fangirl?"

Tenten nodded dumbly, then froze.

She then shook her head vigorously, lying.

And dashed out of the room.

"Naruto! Naruto, you idiot, where are you! I know you said you were busy and to tell people you were out, but where _are you?_"

The 'back' was where Naruto could most often be found, hidden amongst his arrays of lanterns, paper, and ink.

And the workshop was, honestly speaking, more 'work' than 'shop'.

But all the papers looked the same to Tenten, and she couldn't well determine under which pile he might be scribbling.

"Where the hell are you!" She demanded.

And then she saw him.

And **IT.**

And did a double-take.

"Are you stacking cards?" She demanded.

"Shhh." Naruto demanded. "I need to concentrate. Each of these cards, individually, contains a full and individual seal array that will link together when stacked in this specific tower… ultimately creating a fantastic, super-duper, 52 part, multi layered array that might just _kill_ my heating bill **_forever_**."

Tenten had heard enough. Well, actually she wasn't really listening. "Oh shut up and get out here!" Of course she dragged him out by his wrist, knocking the tower down in a sad tumble.

Naruto, depressed at his trampled efforts, let himself be tossed onto the shop counter-top and sullenly looked up at the customer.

Tsunade grinned.

Naruto groaned. "Oh, not _you_."

He turned to leave. He was body checked back into the table and grabbed by the collar. "Boss, listen to me." Tenten hissed under her breath. "This is my hero. This is my idol." She explained. "Don't fuck this up for me."

Naruto took a good look at the scary girl, and sighed in a depressing manner while looking away. "You don't understand." He sulked. "We're related. My Great-great-grand-uncle had a sister, who was fraternal twins with her Grand-auntie's second cousin's father."

Tenten blinked. "What."

Naruto sighed. "Basically…"

"Family discount!" Tsunade declared victoriously, sitting down on the customer's stool and slamming a hand upon the counter-top.

"Family discount?" Tenten asked. "What's that?"

"'Discount' she says… " Naruto sighed. "She means it's free. No, actually, I have to pay for ink and paper, and random regents. And she... always, always, always... abuses that as much as possible."

Shizune gave an awkward sort of cough, and Tsunade continued to grin shamelessly.

Tenten was unmoved. "Whatever. She's Tsunade. She can have whatever she wants." She replied in a deadpan tone.

"You know, I like her." Tsunade commented. "That's real customer orientation."

"Why thank you!" Tenten cheered.

Naruto sighed.

Shizune shared a compatriotic look.

She knew what it was like.

* * *

Naruto banged on the table twice, then thrice, then six times, and then he tapped it with a fork that hung low from the ceiling by a chain of rubber bands.

And the entire room was engulfed in darkness for three seconds.

At the end of this time period, a lantern flickered to life upon the counter-top, Naruto still acting sullen as he blew out the lighting match.

Tsunade grinned even broader in the flickering light. "So you're bringing out the good stuff, right?"

No… it's not some old wine Tsunade.

"I'm keeping you out of trouble." Naruto answered flatly. "What you just asked for is illegal. And taboo. And you shouldn't know about it."

"Grand-auntie's second cousin's father's fraternal twin was a drunk blabbermouth, and told my godmother, who in turn told me when I was a child…. as a bedtime story." Tsunade admitted. "Only recently did it occur to me that it might not only be real, it might be well within reach!"

"Excuse me. What's going on?" Tenten asked, still confused. The entire room was, for lack of a better word, battened down. Shuters were over windows and steel replaced their front door. The previously wooden floor gleamed as if it were metallic... and everything was beginning to glow and hum faintly with marks of mulch-colored power.

"I put the shop in lock-down." Naruto responded in an offhanded manner. "It's a whole thing."

"It means he's bringing out the good stuff." Tsunade interpreted.

"It's _illegal!_" Naruto insisted, referring to the aforementioned… _stuff_.

"I thought about that." Tsunade admitted, brandishing a piece of paper. "You think I came all the way back here for nothing?"

Naruto stared at the paper. "...This is a dispatch order, for an S-rank mission. To destroy an international yakuza gambling ring that has gotten out of hand." Naruto frowned and looked up. "Doesn't seem worth S-rank status, actually."

"I have to do it…" Tsunade said pointedly, "**_unobtrusively_**."

"You want to destroy an international yakuza gambling ring that has gotten out of hand... **_unobtrusively?_**" Naruto couldn't help but ask. "That's impossible."

"Not for Tsunade-sama!" Tenten objected. "She's awesome!"

"Why thank you." Tsunade preened. "Shizune, you had better watch out. This one looks like she's after your job."

"Ehhhh? Tsunade-sama?"

"You mean it?"

"Oh, I see it." Naruto interjected. "A requisition allowance... 'infinite and unlimited'? What does that even mean? What even is that?"

Tsunade just smiled.

"Are you trying to say," Naruto began, "that you want to get rid of this yakuza gambling ring that's gotten out of hand... by _gambling them into destruction?_"

Tsunade smiled even more.

Naruto sighed.

In a sequence of odd and seemingly redundant steps, he took a key from where it was taped underneath his chair and proceeded to unlock a box hidden above the rafters, where he found yet another key.

Which unlocked another key box behind a hanging painting, which contained a key that unlocked a safe with another key inside, that was located in the back room and inside the lavatory ceiling...

and so on and so forth...

until at last he sat again at the small shop's checkout table and dropped down an old, dusty, enormous tome.

"This is..." Naruto began in a serious tome. "A copy of the **Uzumaki Big Book of Seals**. Perhaps… just perhaps… it is the last one in existence. Now! There are rules…. You must never tell anyone else that you have ever laid eyes on the Uzumaki Big Book of Seals. In fact, you must never even admit that it really exists, for if you attempt to say _anything _about the Uzumaki Big Book of Seals, you will lose all ability to speak. Forever. If you attempt to write about it, you will lose all ability to form words upon any writing surface. If you _attempt _to explain it's existence in _interpretive dance _you will _lose all ability to interact physically with the world_."

Naruto stared hard at each individual in the room. "Ok?" He asked.

Shizune, Tonton, and Tenten gulped in unison and nodded awkwardly. Tsunade looked like a kid in a candy store.

As for Naruto, he sighed once more, checked the index, and flipped to page 328 in the Uzumaki Big Book of Seals.

And there lay the most beautiful, sprawling mass of nonsense that Tenten had ever laid eyes on. "What is it?" She asked breathlessly.

"The short answer is... its 'Luck'." Naruto answered. "It's real, true, ultimate, solidified luck."

Tsunade practically salivated.

"The long answer," and here Naruto smiled, for he enjoyed speaking of old family lore, "is that it's a perfect word. You see... there are words out there, and symbols. But do they have power?"

"They're just words... right? They don't have any kind of power..." Tenten answered.

"Well of course they do Tenten." Naruto frowned and stared at her imploringly. "Of _course_ they do. They can give people courage. They can build nations, and tear the _soul _apart. **_Regular words. _**And… when you met me, Tenten," Naruto explained tenderly and smiled, "you gave me a few words, and a hug, and pulled me out of the most desperate, darkest, worst place in my life."

Tenten went beet-red, and turned away, clutching at her racing heart. _Uwaaa. Not good. I'm really bad at things like this. _

Naruto shrugged. "Well... you're right that words, on their own, don't hold power. We _give _them power. We give words meaning and significance with something called 'language'." Naruto explained. "And seals are the same. That's why understanding is so important. That's why people like you that use autoflows to get around seal study, get half-hearted effects." Naruto considered his next words at length. "Without understanding… they're just scribbles. Just ink and paper. Ah… but this! This is different. This is true and perfect, and ultimate." Naruto explained, staring at the page. "This doesn't even need charging, or understanding, or anything like that. It really is, just simple luck."

Tenten stared. "I don't understand."

Naruto didn't mind explaining. "Seals are things we humans made up. They're lines and shape that we figured best fit with natural laws and our understanding of it, which we charge with thought and power. They're how we tap into the laws and modify them, or observe them. This," Naruto tapped the paper, "is not quite like that. It's perfect Tenten. Really perfect. So perfect… so very perfect that the world will charge it for you." He explained in fervence. "This. This, _right here_, is _exactly _how the forces of cause and effect… of fate and destiny… of the _world _as a _whole _… this is how _nature itself writes the word_ **_Luck._**"

Tenten blinked in rapid succession, trying to process what that all meant, found that she couldn't, and instead asked: "How ever was it found out?"

"Well that's the funny part!" Naruto laughed. "How do you think? Some awesome guy dedicated his life to _trial and error _and guess what?"

Tenten frowned. "You can't be serious."

"Yep!"

"I'm sorry." Shizune interrupted. "What do you mean?"

Tsunade sighed. "Think about it Shizune. What other reason could it possibly be?"

Naruto smiled foolishly at the piece of heritage before him. "He got lucky." He explained. "One day… when he was old and gray, and named a fool by all who ever knew him… he got lucky."

And Naruto laughed.

His family was gone. He knew that now, in both his head and his heart. They had left behind none of their lives. The movies left behind were dead things of ink and paper.

But they had left behind teachings of matters most profound. And _proof_. _Proof… _that in all the nerdy glory that seemed inherent in his blood…. that their way… their devotion and madness and love…

They had been _so awesome_.

And he would never forget it.

It wasn't family.

But it was heritage.

And he… would never forget it.

* * *

A/N: Again... having problems with Tsunade's Heir.

I just... agh. I dunno. Too complicated and... bogged down I guess...

And I probably take it too serious.

Oh, but this is Uzumaki Heritage A/N! Yeah. What do I have to say about this story?

...

Never mind. It's all been said already. Oh, there is one thing. This kind of shopkeep scene that I've finally gotten to was an enormous part of the original conceptualization of this story. And, honestly, we may never get around to the more common form of linear progressive plot events again.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Right now priority is Tsunade's Heir FFTimetravel Heritage Vacation.

You're all just lucky that have off the I Just Want a Vacation readership over that time they depressed me with 6 reviews for that one chapter I nearly bled over.

* * *

Chapter 10

"There," Naruto sighed as he leaned back in his chair, "it's done."

He rubbed his eyes, having finished his two hour toil.

It wasn't just that the task had been two hours, oh no. The _precision_ required. The _attention to detail_.

And to draw it upon a pig, of all things, and with _Ghost Ink_…

Which, of course, was _invisible_ among other things.

Naruto sighed. Tsunade hugged her (now) lucky pig victoriously to her chest.

She spun it around. She started to dance The Jig with it.

All her life she had been cursed with a miserable lack of fortune. Such a thing had reached in and clawed at her every joy.

And no, this wouldn't bring Natwaki or Dan back.

And no, their death's had come down to more than a bad luck homerun.

But this little, feeble fight against fate that she had raged over for years had acquired fangs with this.

And she would bite and tear at destiny. She would spit in the eye of misfortune.

And she would sing and dance about it, as much as she pleased, even with a pig.

Well… in fairness Tonton was a rather civilized and well-mannered pig, too. Her Jig needed work, but who could really tell with The Jig?

Naruto gave his distant-distant-distant relative a bemused smile. "Remember what I said." He reminded as he gathered his writing tools. "Remember… 'that' is a secret." He tapped his lips with an index finger for emphasis.

Tenten blinked. "Oh right. You mean the – Mmnph"

Naruto did not remove his hand from covering Tenten's mouth as he continued to tap his lips meaningfully.

"Mnph, mnph (Oh, yeah)."

Naruto let her go. "You could actually say its name while we're still in lockdown, but you'd better get out of the habit. Don't want to be struck deaf, or dumb, or blind, or whatever."

And Tenten chose to _silently _watch her hero's happy dance. "…Why was it illegal?" She asked at last. "Why was it Taboo? Look atTsunade-sama. Look how happy she is. And, really, isn't misfortune something everyone has to deal with? Isn't it something best gotten rid of, forever? I mean, even the plebian, who have no knowledge of chakra, or seals, or anything could have it… because its 'true and ultimate'… isn't it? They wouldn't need to do anything. You said the world would charge it."

Naruto sighed. "Well, geez Tenten, isn't it just illegal because of dangerous thoughts like that?"

"Huh?"

"It's not like I don't understand where you're coming from. It's a nice thought." Naruto admitted. "But you said it yourself. Misfortune is something we all have to deal with." He smiled bitterly.

"Besides!"Naruto began again, more brightly. "Just think about it. _Ultimate Luck._ How can anyone resist? I gave it to Tsunade for free, but what would she have _paid_ if she _had to? _What would she have _done_ for it? What_ wouldn't she?_" Naruto paused. "What _won't _she do for it the next time she needs it, now that she knows it's really out there? It's far too grand. To have true luck, and be able to expect it and lean upon it, so that it was almost became nothing like luck at all, but was a normal and every-day life of perfection of all things related to chance…"

Naruto considered it, and shook his head side to side. "No. No, no, no. They almost wiped us out, and scattered what little was left, just because we tried to make a _powerless_ God. And if we don't learn from that, then it would have been a total waste of my entire clan's everything…" Naruto muttered. "If I gave this true word away, in any permanent way to someone, what do you think would happen? They would be lucky in all things, until they were utterly destroyed."

"It's strong, Tenten." Naruto admitted, looking down to the Uzumaki Big Book of Seals. "Too strong, now that it's known about."

And he _ripped out_ page 328. _And _the related instructions on pages 329 and 330.

And he crumpled them all together with a prayer under his breath.

And turned up the flame on his kerosene lamp.

And rendered ultimate fortune unto ash.

"Oh, God."Tenten whispered. "Oh, God, what have you done?"

Tsunade froze at the scent of smoke. She spun. She screamed in horror. "What have you done?" She demaded as she lifted Naruto by the collar. "What in God's name have you done?"

"I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure…" Naruto muttered, "…that I just saved the world."

The smoke still wafted, and Tsunade stared uncomprehending at Naruto.

She dropped him, in sudden realization, and turned off the lamp.

And she tapped out the ash upon the floor, muttering: "Oh god, oh god. My Luck, my Luck…Shizune, help me. Is there some kind… some kind of jutsu…"

And she sifted through the ash mournfully, seeking out some small piece of legible art that remained.

"It was too strong." Naruto repeated, as he slumped against the wall. "I had to do it."

"It was _just luck_!" Tenten objected. She couldn't bear to see her hero like this. So… desperate. "There could have been a way! A way to keep it safe and make it only helpful!"

"'Just luck'…" Naruto sighed. "And it brought a Sannin to her knees. It's… such a shame it was so strong." Naruto whispered. "I didn't want to, you know. It deserved to live. It was beautiful."

And Narutotapped the countertop in sequence, bringing the shop out of lockdown before he turned to leave the room. But he said to Tsunade: "The ghost ink on your pig will last a week, and then the effects will disappear completely. And… you're not a part of my close family. You're not even Uzumaki. You're a relative on a family tree that just crossed one branch with mine, but… you're all the family I've got."

And he left with the parting words. "So be careful on your mission."

Hearing these parting words, Tsunade glanced up to where the door had swong closed beyond her departing distant-distant-distant relative.

And she looked back to the ash in her hand. And for the first time, she looked past the billion dollar ash and to her shaking hand beneath.

And she gave a long-suffering sigh, lowering her head even as she clenched her fist tighly.

"What am I doing." She muttered. "I'm stronger than this."

Compared to to Dan.

This was nothing.

This was a _joke_.

Tsunade stood. "…Be careful, he says… yes." She sighed. "It's more than luck that destroys us. It's the bet itself. It's the risks we take in this terrible life. That's why… I wanted medic nins on every team… I wanted us to hedge our bets. I…" Tsunade stared at the ash in her hands and sighed.

And with all her monumental, earth-rending strength, she forced herself…

…to let go, and dust her hands of this madness.

"If a medic tells you to take it easy, you'd better listen. If an Uzumaki tells you it's too dangerous… if that clan that plays with gods and demons, and twists the soul around for fun and profit… if even they tell you it's too dangerous… yes. Then it really must be terrible. Luck…."

"She said that?" Naruto asked, later.

"Yeah."Tenten nodded.

Naruto was seated before a messy table 'in the back' once more, attempting to reconstruct his house-of-cards seal array. Tenten could see… and anyone could see if anyone else had been there, but Naruto's heart wasn't in it.

Tenten leaned against said table and attempted to make conversation. "It's strange though…" She said. "She blamed the bet itself for destruction, but… I'm _sure _she likes to gamble. Or at least, she gambles a strange."

"Yeah."Naruto frowned. "I… hope she really is careful out there."

"I'll pray for her. At the shrine."Tenten decided. "Does that work?" She asked suddenly, having always wondered. "Does it do anything, to pray?"

"Don't know." Naruto answered. "Never met a real god, even a lesser one."

There was a click in the distance, and with that as a que, Tenten left without a word.

She came back, kettle in one hand, open cup ramen cup in the other.

She placed the cup before her boss, and poured hot water carefully in. "I'm sorry." She said, while she was doing this. "I wasn't being very nice or reasonable earlier."

Naruto stared at what she was doing in surprised silence.

Tenten tried to ignore the look. She knew it was a weird way to do things. It was just the best she could come up with. "And I know how much every piece of your inheritance means to you. It… must have been hard to burn it yourself. I'm sorry for that too, and I thought you could use a thing."

Naruto watched, as Tenten stirred the ramen with a pair of chopsticks briefly, before putting them down.

"I, um… I tried to cut up some hotdogs so that they looked like octopi, and put them in there. I heard that made them taste special, and better." Tenten said awkwardly. "Well?"

Almost mechanically, Naruto popped a ramen-soaked octopus-sausage into his mouth, and felt a bit of the misery of burning his own heritage just… evaporate. Like octopus-sausage related magic.

It was at that moment that Naruto came to an important realization.

"It's really good." He said at last. "Really."

He was going to convince this girl to marry him.

* * *

A/N: I've figured out who Tenten is going to be. She's that girl that everyone forgets about, because she's nothing special.

But you know her really well, and only to you, you couldn't imagine living without her, and you don't really care why.

I don't usually do this, but I'll come right out and say it here, because it seems unlikely that anyone at all will notice this, especially because I myself am usually inconsistent with it. But right after Naruto burns ultimate fortune, Tenten and Tsunade both say something like 'Oh God' somewhere. And God is capitalized. Tsunade then says 'Oh god, oh god, my Luck, my Luck'. It's a switch. At that moment, her luck has surpassed everything else in Tsunade's sentence. That was the moment that I intended to prove how powerful the true word was. Naruto explaining it, and Tsunade scraping the scraps on her knees, those were just to make sure you got it.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Two things. One: As I have already mentioned, I really don't know much about Shippuden, nor do I really care to know all that much about Shippuden, and most of my meditations about the topic of Shippuden have been concerning what a terrible waste it all was. Now, as a consequence, I don't know that much about Diedera or Sasori, except they like art and I think they must be silly because I mean look at them. As such the two of them may probably be OC.

Second: If you don't know, Sasori is a guy who makes and uses puppets to fight and Diedera is a guy who uses explosive clay, and they like to fight about the nature of art. Didera likes to say 'un' because he is silly like that. They're members of a group of bad ninja mercenaries.

* * *

Chapter 10

Art is a _

A door opened with force, the obligatory shop bell tinkling cutely in warning.

A pair of cloaked figures strode up to the half-asleep Tenten and leaned down to chorus: "Is the master in?"

With some difficulty, Tenten managed to shake her employer awake from where he lay dozing upon a messy pile of cards.

"Boss. Boss, come on. Get up." Tenten insisted, before interrupting herself with a yawn. "You got a *yawn* a special customer. Or something."

They shouldn't have stayed up all night.

But Naruto had devised a seal to allow not only ninjas, but every-day objects to adhere to the ceiling for extended periods of time. And not as if by glue, which might have been sticky and uncomfortable, but as if every one of them could wall-walk and selectively decide what they wanted to stick, when, and for how long.

Predictably, they had spent the entire night playing Ninja-Twister and Ninja-boardgames. That is, Twister on the ceiling. And boardgames on the ceiling.

Looking up, Tenten could still see the table they'd stuck up there, the underside of which they had used to rest their drinks and stuff.

*Sigh*.

She'd wanted to turn in at a reasonable hour, but Naruto had been so excited, and he was just too cute to refuse.

Her weakness to that aspect of Naruto, she realized, probably didn't bode very well for her future just in general.

"Boss. C'mon. Get up." She insisted.

*Sigh*

"I'll cook you breakfast." She offered.

*Mnkg*

Naruto sat up slowly. Slowly, he turned to consider her. He blinked twice. "Okay." He said at last.

* * *

"So?" Naruto yawned in address of the customers. "What's up?"

"You? I'd heard you were young..." The red-haired man said. His cloak didn't do much to obscure his facial features, even with the hood up. Well, it was noon so it wasn't like it was dark or anything.

"Un. We came here to ask you a question." The other man offered. He rather resembled Ino from his class.

Which was eerie because Ino was a girl.

Though that red-cloud cloak was manly enough Naruto supposed. Everyone knew black and red was manly.

"Sounds good." Naruto agreed, waking up a little more. Way more interesting than another commission. He was getting a bit tired of flaming swords, chakra-receptive kunai, and sealing all those damn five-course meals into travel-scrolls for the Akimichi. "What is it?"

"The Uzumaki are acclaimed far and wide," the redhead began, "as most highly devout towards their art."

Naruto shrugged.

"This question seems like it would be too profound for a little kid like you, but... what would you say... 'art' itself is?"

"It's an explosion, right?!" the blonde offered. "Like, bang! Un!"

"Idiot." The other man elbowed the first. "We agreed not to bias his opinion." And despite himself he added. "Art is something pristine, that lasts for generations. As an ignorant brat kid, you may not fully understand this."

Naruto frowned. He pursed his lips and held his chin. That sounded like some kind of existential nerdation. And not anything in this world tickled Naruto's fancy like existential nerdation. Except perhaps the meeting of other people so similarly devoted.

As such, he wracked his brain furiously to it's greatest and most nerdiness extent ever. "Art, huh? I don't know so much about art in the broad sense but... If you mean the sealing art... it's like... Ramen, I guess."

Both men leaned in. "Ramen?" They chorused.

"Yeah." Naruto nodded, eyes narrowed as he felt a proof form in his mind. "Like..."

The door to 'the back' opened, and Tenten stepped through. She placed a cup ramen in Naruto's hands without a word and Naruto, for his part, smiled and proceeded to go about eating it.

"It's like that." He finished, after taking his first drag of noodle.

The pair of strangers looked a bit consternation, if anything, but neither would admit that they had been lost in this philosophical discussion.

"Like," Naruto began, "I've been making instant Ramen for years. And for years, I've used the same kettle. The same sink. The same six competing brands. Everything." Naruto instructed. "And then I started to get Tenten-chan to do it for me, and now it... well it doesn't taste better, and it doesn't taste worse." He explained. "But it tastes more meaningful."

Both men stared at the young kid. Then, they struck mirroring poses of holding a fist up to their chin and tapping one foot.

"C'mon. I think I've got an objective proof for this." Naruto offered, ushering the two out and leaving a blushing Tenten behind.

* * *

Besides the Uzumaki Sundries, was a rather large sandbox. It stretched a full house's worth in both length and width. It was here that Naruto sometimes practiced drawing lines in the sand with a staff, stick, or his feet.

In the middle of this sandbox stood, none other than the towering, imposing mass of...

...The Jericho.

The cloaked figures stopped before the sandbox and stared.

Noticing that his compatriots had stopped following, Naruto doubled back and assessed what would be the appropriate action as the host of this little intellectual gathering. "Ah, that's a rock." Naruto explained, taking up the mantle of tour guide. He searched for something else to say about it. "A big rock." He finished. "Possibly a boulder. I'm not sure, since it's more egg-shaped than ball-shaped. I'm not familiar with the nomenclature of rocks. Anyways, the proof's down there in the shed. I've got a scroll somewhere in there, I'm pretty sure, that turns blue when it's used to bludgeon something that's not really, really similar to what's sealed inside it and -"

"It's... It's... " the redhead struggled to gasp out, as if the words had to be dredged up all the way from the depths of his very soul. "It's... beautiful."

"What, the sand?" Naruto asked. He didn't recall leaving any seal in the sand, in particular. "The rock?" He hazarded.

The blonde fell to his knees, arms limp, staring up at the majestic sight before him. Sexually ambiguous tears flowed down his face like a shameless expression of shame. "I've... I've been such a fool." He then proceeded to cry out loud a little, in a manner that sounded a lot like 'Uuuun. Uaaauuuun.'

It was very strange.

"Explosion. Not explosion." The cloaked blonde said between sobs. "Who cares? There's more... there's more to life than explosions! Un!" He proclaimed loudly. "There's the moment before the explosion, on the brink of release, when all the emotion and the world are concentrated so fully into one point - reflected by this bold carving of 'Baku' upon an immortal, giant rock. Un! So small is the seal, compared to the size of this rock, and yet so large it is compared to the one who carved it! Un, the duality! So sloppily is the explosive seal carved, and yet so passionately that it would surely rip the giant in two! He does not explode it, un, and he does not erase the destructive proof of his passion, un. He walks away!" The man's words then proceeded to be rendered insensible by his emotion. "He walks awa-ha-haaaaay! He walks ahwaaaay!"

The other man walked up to the Jericho. He stared at the carving of 'Baku' upon it's base. He returned to Naruto and asked the boy simply: "Did you carve that... with your fists?"

"Yeah." Naruto admitted awkwardly. "I was, uh, in an odd place."

"I can still see traces of dried blood lodged into the cracks."

"Yeah."

"I see."

The redhead nodded simply, turned back to face the Jericho, and slowly sat beside his cloaked and crying friend on the edge of the sandbox.

"I have made... one thousand puppets." The redhead said. "In each, I strived for nothing but perfection. A perfect melding of aesthetic and functional beauty. But in... in the face of this... it's all so fake!" He closed his eyes tightly as if in pain. "Now I know why I could never say that my puppets came to life on my strings. Before this raw majesty, I am ashamed. This - This is real life! I just make dolls! Heartless dolls! What future? What preservation? I have only been preparing to leave relics of unreality behind!"

"Please!" The cloaked blond interrupted, standing and bowing stiffly, all a sudden. "Take this!" He rigidly offered a scroll to Naruto... or rather he shoved it into the boy's abdomen. "It's nothing to me now! Un! I don't deserve it - I don't even want to look at it! Goodbye, Great Uzumaki Danna! I need... I need to go rediscover myself!"

And he left in tears.

Naruto stared. "What is that I don't even - "

The redhead stood and turned to Naruto. He grasped the boy tightly by the shoulders. "Please." He said. "Don't die."

"Haaah?" Naruto borrowed his shop assistant's catchphrase.

"This world... requires you." The man squeezed Naruto's shoulders more tightly. "It might not be in this generation, as true genius is rarely rewarded in so timely a manner... But in one generation, somewhere in all of time, someday, surely... your work will redeem humanity."

"Haaaaaaaaaah?"

The man patted Naruto's shoulders firmly, before handing him a scroll. "Goodbye Sensei. I'm going to go reinvent myself."

And he left.

Naruto was left in the middle of a sandbox with two scrolls and a lot of confusion.

* * *

"Haaaah?" Tenten exclaimed.

"That's what I said." Naruto nodded.

"So what did they leave you, then, in the end? Jutsu?"

Naruto considered the scrolls in his possession. "The... 'secret of explosions' and the 'observation of alteration, repurposing, and transformation of nonliving things'."

"Haaah?"

"I think... they're research journals." Naruto mused.

"For Jutsu?" Tenten asked.

"No. Not for Jutsu. Life's not about Jutsu, Tenten-chan." Naruto chided. "For... just what they say. Just... observations on things."

"...Are they useful?" Tenten asked.

"...I think they each represent a life's work." Naruto frowned. "This one's draft no. 106 and that one's draft no. 323."

"That's a bit much."

"I respect the dedication though." Naruto said.

Tenten thought about it, and nodded. "I guess you're right. It's quite a lot to trust you with in that case."

"Yeah..."

Tenten tilted her head in thought. "Hmmm... Didn't you say that understanding was important for sealwork, boss?"

"I did, yeah. Understanding of natural forces in fundamental. It's all meaningless scribbles without symbols and empathy to the seal."

"So... could you read these things, and then use explosive tags better?"

"I could." Naruto nodded offhandedly. "If I was boring, and lame, and dumb... and boring."

*Sigh*

"Okay. Okay. So what are you going to do?"

"I dunno." Naruto mused. "But... I kind of feel in the mood for some art now."

He went over to his unfinished cup ramen and took a draft of noodles once more. "Hmmm... You've been making me Ramen and things lately, but I haven't really been doing anything special back have I?"

Tenten was about to comment that last night had been the most fun, childish, personable experience she'd had with another human being in her entire miserable orphan life, but she refrained out of embarrassment.

"Want me to cook you something?" Naruto offered.

"No." Tenten answered immediately. "Explosive, transforming food? No."

"All cooking requires the lettuce and stuff to change into -"

"No."

"Don't you use heat for, like, everything around the stove and -"

"No."

Naruto pouted. "Well, fine then." He stood and walked away.

"Where are you off to, boss?"

"I'll sleep on it. Gonna go finish my nap." He yawned. "In the morning, I dunno, I'll try to cook you a sword or something. One that transforms, and explodes, and is special-awesome. And a duality of the rawness of a puppet that walks away from the brink of a boulder... or something."

Tenten watched her boss leave, in silence. She sat down before the counter once more, propped her head on her palm once more, thought it over at length, and kept trying to not fall asleep.

"A sword that explodes and transforms..." She mused.

*Yawn*

"That's just ridiculous." She said at last.

* * *

A/N: Diedera and Sasori, defeated.

Exploding swords that transform? That's just silly. Don't be silly, Naruto. You're silly. Silly Naruto is silly.  
What would you even call something like that? 9 Commandments or something? Hah.

Was going to be a love-scene. Shelved it. Was going to be a sealmaster vs sealmaster battle in a cabin in the woods. Shelved it. Was going to be about watering plants. Shelved it. Was going to focus on updating Tsunade's Heir instead of this. Shelved it.

Funny thing about a story that wallows in it's total lack of plot. There's a lot of directions you can go, then stop partway, then turn around and go into another direction for.

Review Pl0x


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: **I made a website,** for those of you not in the know yet. It may be accessed from my profile page, because links are not allowed in chapter text.

Rather, it's the new home for the Review a Song Campaign.

I'll make it clear, but the Campaign might seem like bribery but it's rather more symbolic to me. Receiving some kind of special effort from my readers. Giving something to my BETA. It's meaningful and deep.

Also this chapter was brought to you by the review a song campaign. Sorry it's a little late guys. But on the other hand, it's a bit longer and fabulous. So there's that. The next one I'm working on will be I Just Want a Vacation, because *le gasp* the song reviewer actually stated a preference.

* * *

Chapter 11

Worldviews

The world… turned.

The world… changed.

That was the _rule._

Naruto _knew _rules. Naruto, if he could be forgiven for saying so, _loved _rules.

He loved how they mixed together. He loved to bend them, twist them to his needs. He loved to frolic amongst them and cherish them and protect them from people who would abuse them.

But sometimes… sometimes… the rules would just beat him. They would just make him sad.

Because… times changed. And people graduated shinobi academy. They joined three man cells and they left.

It was a sunny autumn day and Tenten really was shining brilliantly amongst the amber leaves. She stood there in an amber cheongsam he'd made for her. She looked good in amber. Amongst amber.

And she gave a big toothy grin as she handed over her official notice of resignation.

"Thank you for everything!" She proclaimed proudly, bowing.

Naruto accepted the simple folded paper.

Paper… hahaha.

His life had been ruled by paper.

His parents' video paper. Hinata's encouraging paper. Sasuke's #1 paper, and now this.

Hah.

Ink, and paper, and a little bit of time.

"Congratulations." Naruto said. "I'm proud of you. You're going to be even greater." He said. "And… you can keep your employee discount so… come by."

"Ah…" Tenten gasped, accepting the nice necklace. And suddenly she felt lonely. She had never thought about it. "Ah…"

"Don`t worry." Naruto told her. "Things change. That's the rule."

There was an after-party. The timing was quite unfortunate. Or maybe it had been required for Naruto to say anything at all. Maybe Naruto needed the conversation to be interrupted, because he didn't want her to have to try to say anything. Maybe he just wanted her to smile and be happy. All the same, Lee even came to drag her off. Tenten had to go. She wasn't sure she wanted to any more.

But Naruto kept waving with this smile plastered to his face, whenever she looked over her shoulder.

* * *

Time passed. The world turned.

Well, it did that often.

"Hey boss." A familiar voice greeted. The soft chimes of Uzumaki Sundries welcomed prospective customers.

"Hi." Naruto greeted. He tried not to sound too relieved, whenever she came by. He didn't know what he should feel relieved for anyway. "Hi." He repeated.

"Um," Tenten started awkwardly. "I came to introduce my team. We're going on our first c-rank tomorrow, and we thought we'd get prepared."

"C-rank?" Naruto echoed. There were people behind Tenten. Her friend, Lee, he already knew in passing. There was also a pretty boy and a… big copy of Lee. "What's that like?"

"Oh, it's an escort mission." Tenten explained. "I hear it's very straight forwards."

"There's been a Seal-Breaker on the loose." Naruto warned. He didn't keep too up with the news, except for those around his field. "Be careful. It takes a strange kind of seal-crafter to go around ending other people's work. They have to have something… loose in their head. They have something disjointed or skewed in them. I think they might ask me to help track this guy down soon, but until then you should be careful."

Tenten didn't really understand, but then she rarely fully did when it was about Naruto's world, and so she nodded. "Ah, but, I should introduce you. Everyone," she turned to her team, "this is Uzumaki Naruto. He's my previous employer, my friend, and he's been very kind to me."

"Maito Gai!" Gai introduced himself. "You can call me Gai! Thank you for taking care of our steel flower!" He bowed. "Rest assured! We shall protect her with our lives!" He made a passionate pose.

"That's a relief." Naruto smiled wryly. Sounded like Tenten had her hands full.

"Rock Lee!" Lee copied his teacher. "You can call me Lee!" He trailed off, not sure how to finish. "That's all!" Nonetheless he made a passionate pose.

"Yo Lee." Naruto greeted.

"Hyuuga Neji." Neji greeted. And that was it.

"Well, so…" Tenten interrupted the awkwardness left by Neji`s introduction. "So what would you suggest, Boss?"

Naruto shrugged. "You'd know better than I would."

Tenten smiled. "Okay, guys. Basically, on the left we have a selection of basic short range goods."

Team 8 left.

"Hey!" Tenten protested. "I wasn't finished! The long range goods are on the right! Hey! Oy! You bastards! Long range is cool!"

Naruto shook his head. His wry smile hadn't left his face. "The teacher said he'd look out for you, but it sounds like it's going to be the other way around."

"Please don't laugh. It's not funny when it's true." Tenten replied.

Naruto laughed anyway, and went behind his counter to rummage outside of Tenten's sight. "Well, it's good that you'll need this after all." Naruto said, producing a simple brown box. "I had meant to give you something for your graduation, but it wasn't something I could produce so easily."

Tenten opened the box and gasped. "It's just like Tsunade-sama's!" She exclaimed, holding the crystal pendant up to the light. "It's beautiful. You didn't have to."

"If I had to, it wouldn't be a present." Naruto chastised. "And it would lose all meaning."

Tenten laughed. "Yes, I guess you're right." She held the crystal in her hands, feeling it's smooth surface. "You're good to me Naruto. You've always been good to me." She admitted. "I don't really get presents. No one gave me anything for my graduation. I mean, sensei took us out to eat when we passed his test, but I never got a _thing._ Not that I need a thing." Tenten corrected. "I don't need things, tools excluded. I'm not a very material girl that way. You know that. It's just… sorry." She covered her face a little. "I don't know what I'm talking about."

"Come on." Naruto said, taking the necklace and reaching up to tie it around her neck. "Don't cry. Your teammates might come over here and beat me up."

Tenten laughed weakly. "So, um," she collected herself, "does it do anything?"

"Well, you know how I was saying I'd cook you a transforming, exploding sword?" Naruto asked.

"Oh my god, it turns into a sword?!" Tenten exclaimed.

"No Tenten." Naruto frowned. "Of course not. That would be silly. Crystal necklaces don't _turn into swords._"

"Oh, er."

"Metal necklaces turn into swords. It would be ridiculous for crystal necklaces to turn into swords. Unless, of course, it was a crystal sword." Naruto amended. "But that would be equally silly."

"…Haaah." There wasn't a lot Tenten could say. She only half-understood. There was a lot about Naruto she only half-understood. "So… what _does_ it do then?"

"It looks good on you." Naruto nodded, pleased with himself. "That's what it does."

Tenten blushed. That was functional, indeed. That was a function she could be very pleased with, in the right place and time such as presently.

"Be careful with it." Naruto cautioned. "It's fragile. It can break. You mustn't let it break." He said seriously. "Always wear it, but never let it break."

"…I see." Tenten nodded. She didn't really get it, but she basically got it. It was that kind of thing.

* * *

It was the day of the C-rank. A day of momentous importance, upon Tenten's first step into a different world.

Tenten was in her regular gear. She had considered changing it considering that the mission took her out of village, but decided against it. She just didn't feel comfortable in anything but her combat pants and her short-sleeves. Well, that and a cheongsam. But she only wore those at the shop, and only then at Naruto's insistence.

She was feeling a little nervous, so she'd rather be comfortable in at least her dressware.

All the same, they met their clients at the gate. A short, thing man and a tall, muscular man.

The short, thin man had his chestnut hair in a thin ponytail. He wore a pair of rectangular, simple spectacles, and a faded-blue hakama. Tenten found the man's most immediately striking feature was… that he had no immediately striking feature. He was the kind of man you could see anywhere, and was not frequently targeted by bandits.

On the contrary, the muscular man was bald and made for a striking existence with the way he nearly bulged out of his simple gray clothes, but his quiet and demure countenance seemed to fade him into the background. Still, this second man seemed so well built that Tenten wondered why the pair even needed an escort at all.

"Well there's a Seal-Breaker on the loose." The shorter man, who had introduced himself as Extario, explained as they began to walk into the forest. "And that's bad news."

There it was again. That term. "Boss… excuse me." Tenten corrected herself. "My ex-employer said something about that as well. He said that there was something wrong… like, with their minds."

It was force of habit to call Naruto 'boss'. It had been months since she had left his employ, but even now she would go back to visit the shop and hang out, and help around. And it was just so familiar, as if the place had become some part of herself. It was some special place, which she had resigned from but couldn't quite leave. Naruto's continuing nickname might have stemmed from that.

And Naruto… he was her 'boss'. If he told her to jump, she'd jump and then wonder why she was doing it. If he told her to wear a necklace for no reason at all and never let it break, well then that was what she would do.

He was an idiot, but he had been very good to her. He would never steer her wrong.

"That's quite a thing to say." Extario agreed. "Of all the things to say, to say something like that… who on earth did you work for?"

"Oh, I was the shopkeep at Uzumaki Sundries."

The man stopped.

Tenten had to double back.

Extaio stood there behind them, the ever present but silent Bogroll in his shadow.

"Uzumaki… Sundries?" Extario asked.

"Yes." Tenten nodded. "Meeting your everyday needs with unnecessary firepower. Uzumaki Sundries."

The slogan came naturally to her, almost before she'd noticed.

"Didn't you see any of the fliers?" Tenten asked.

"Oh no, I saw them." The man admitted. "My good companion, Bogroll, brought them to my attention. I'm just surprised to meet someone related to the place."

"Then you didn't go to meet him?" Tenten inquired. "Boss would have been very interested to meet you."

"Me?!" The man asked abruptly. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, he always likes to meet other seal-crafters. There's always a nerd-moment, and at least an hour or two worth of nerd-discussion, and he seems to enjoy that." Tenten shrugged. "Er, no offense of course. I say 'nerd' with the highest of praise and the purest of intentions."

"Why would you think me to be a seal-crafter?" The man inquired. "Do I look like one?"

"Well, no," Tenten said, "but you sound like one."

"We've hardly exchanged two words!" The man exclaimed.

"The first thing you said to me was 'there's a Seal-Breaker on the loose'," Tenten explained, "'And that's bad news'."

"That's it?" The man asked.

"Well, yes. Boss said almost the exact same thing."

"That is the entire basis of your deduction?!" Extario exclaimed.

"Well, yes." Tenten agreed. "Because you sound like you get it. Personally, I get it but I don't really get it."

"That may just be you."

"Well we can ask around, ok?" Tenten asked. "Are Seal-Breakers really bad news?"

Maito Guy crossed his arms as he walked, and made a show of contemplation. In the end, he said "mmmmn, well, basically, If your youthful ex-employer says so, then it must be true."

Tenten turned to Lee. "Lee?"

"Er, I don't really get it, but the name sounds dangerous." Lee agreed.

"Neji?"

"There are some seals that would be better off broken."

"I see. I'm sorry I asked." Tenten admitted wholeheartedly. She then turned back to Extario. "So, no one understands. They understand, but they don't understand why, or how, or anything with depth. But you sound like you understand. And you understand because you're interested. And if you're interested, then you must craft."

"I can't just be passingly interested?" The man now sounded slightly offended.

"No. Of course you can't." Tenten denied. "Because Crafters are interested. To be interested means you have crafted. Because it's nothing to craft. Just ink, paper, and a little bit of time, and how could anyone possibly resist." Tenten explained, as if reciting something old.

The man smiled faintly. "What a thing to say. Shopkeep for an Uzumaki… it isn't just for show."

"Haaah?"

"Well then, I return it. You sound mildly interested yourself. By this infallible logic, then, you've also crafted?"

Tenten produced a crumpled piece of paper. "At my level, it's just chicken scratches though." She admitted, before re-crumpling the paper and stuffing it back in her backpack's side pocket. She wasn't done with it yet. "It doesn't do anything, or whatever."

"I was like that too." The man admitted with a distant look. "A long time ago. Ages and ages…" He trailed off. "Just chicken scratches. My teacher was so disappointed. He would look at me, and frown as if with his whole being, and he wouldn't say a word. The stubborn old man wouldn't even explain to me what it was that disappointed him so much – though it was an easy guess."

"That sounds tough." Tenten consoled.

"Do you know what destroyed me? Do you know what just absolutely ruined me?" The man asked and waited for Tenten's obligatory shake of the head. "I really was working hard the whole time. I just didn't have the disposition."

This, finally, seemed to be something that Lee could speak on. "With hard work, surely -!"

"That might be true for you ninja." Extario interrupted. It was obvious to him where Lee was going. "Because you require strength. You invest in your bodies. You can build muscle, or chakra. If you've attained no skill, it isn't like you'll make no progress. Something will remain. But not so for those in the arts."

"That's not right." Lee said. "It's just not so."

"You do not even understand that you don't get it. All right." Extario agreed. "Then here is a simple exercise that my master would often give. Write one thousand straight lines, right now."

"Yosh!" Lee burned. "I'll show you! I'll prove it! Watch me – er." He paused awkwardly. "Do you have a pen I can borrow?"

"Fail." Extario replied succinctly.

"But-"

"Fail." Extario repeated. "And if I was my master, I wouldn't even tell you why. But I am not so obnoxious. It's simple. You have common sense."

At this, Lee frowned. "I do?"

"He _does?_" Tenten asked. "Are you really sure about that? Can you say that with conviction?"

"I also have common sense. Every time my master told me to do it, I did it. Only when I left him did I find out that the _entire time_, I wasn't meant to. I had wasted my time, hundreds of times, for no reason at all. It did not improve my crafting because it was not meant to. It was an exercise you were meant to improve from not doing. You are supposed to ask 'why?'. You are supposed to write it once, and then copy it a thousand times. And then explain why you really did 'write' those copies in an abstract sort of sense. You are even supposed to cheekily write the words 'one thousand lines' and go about the rest of your day freely."

"Ah, to cheat?" Lee asked. "Sometimes, they would get us to do that in the academy."

"No." Extario replied, faintly annoyed. "You're seeing it wrong. It isn't to get to the correct answer through any means. It is to get to an equally correct, different answer, using equally correct, different means.

It's not about actually doing it, or what the outcome is. You are supposed… to make it enjoyable. To have fun. To love the art so much that you see love in the most purposefully inane possible task of it."

"I don't really get it." Tenten admitted.

"No, you don't." Extario agreed. "But you are aware that you don't get it. My master would have loved you, just for that. And for that discussion before. A little thing like ferreting out my profession through philosophy… he would have been happy. I couldn't do that." The man sighed, lowering his head. "I drew him a hundred thousand lines, and I never made him happy once."

"I'm… sorry." Tenten said tenderly.

Extario looked up in surprise. "Oh, don't get me wrong. It was his fault." He explained. "He was a bad teacher. Philosophy? Who cares? What is the point in pushing something like that on a man? It's just sophistry. Thinly veiled elitism. I ran away from the old man and I never regretted it. And, more importantly, I learned something. Something I'll share with you. You don't need it. Philosophy, that is. So-called-wisdom. Even my craft, and your Uzumaki's craft, the so-called great escoteric art, do you know what? You don't need anything. The knowledge alone will suffice. Parroting the leanings of others will suffice. The forces of the world _don't care. _Hard work? Nonsense. Smart work? Even that, too, is nonsense." The man shook his head. "If you really want to get ahead in this world, and beat out all the hard workers, the smart workers, the geniuses, and even the lucky, here is what you need:" The man leaned in towards his (unnerved) captive audience. "Initiative." He said in a word. "If you want it, take it. If you don't want it, run away. If your teacher tells you to do something, and you don't like it? Then your teacher should go to hell. And that," the man opened his arms expansively, "is all there is to everything."

Well, there was nothing to really say to that, one way or another.

Tenten thought that Naruto would have had something to say. He was always saying something, even something moronic. She wished, not for the first time since she'd left the Sundries, that he was with her.

Any nonsense he could have spouted would have been better than the aching void of discussion left in the wake of Extario's thesis.

Lee tried to splutter and complain, but he hadn't gotten to form one whole word. They all died out on his tongue, dead. His seemingly immortal flames of passion, extinguished just like that.

Extario held a strange kind of power that way.

He was a strange man, Tenten decided. A strange stranger.

Stranger than strange.

He should have been like Lee, shouldn't he? He had started out the very same. And yet, he had done a full 180-degreee. She just couldn't buy it. Lee would never quit on hard work.

And it was just wrong! Not his theory on life, although perhaps that too. But that there was a theory at all was just wrong!

The man dismissed his teacher and dismissed philosophy itself, but what had he done in the end other than attempted to teach his _own _philosophy to a group of kids he had barely even met?

He must have known… that he was being completely hypocritical.

And there was something else that was wrong about the man. Something very wrong.

And other people may not have noticed it, but Tenten understood it because she had a similar situation herself.

But Extario still called his teacher 'master'.

He could have called the man by his name. Or even just called him by some expletive if he hated the man so much.

But no, Extario still called his teacher 'master'.

Tenten also couldn't stop calling Naruto 'boss', even though she was trying.

A part of her clung to that part of her past, but then she _liked_ Naruto. She respected him.

Extario must be the same. But why hate someone you respect that much? Why respect someone you hated that much?

It was kind of disjointed.

Disjointed?

What was it?

What had someone said? It was important. So very important.

About something being disjointed.

It was just out of the corners of her mind. A hazy existence that wasn't all that important, but…

Naruto had said something strange, just earlier today. Something about… something broken.

'Seal-Breaker'

That was it.

"Hm, Tenten-chan?" Gai-sensei asked. "What is it?"

Oh. Tenten realized that she must have said it out loud.

She wondered how she should explain herself.

"Ah." Lee exclaimed, saving her fom having to say anything for a little bit. "He stopped again."

A chill went up her Tenten's spine. She pivoted, wearily, to look at their stalled charge.

Extaio stood there behind them, the ever present but silent Bogroll still in his shadow, with a nonplussed look.

It couldn't be called surprised, angry, afraid, or even disappointed. No, it was resigned.

"An Uzumaki shopkeep." Extario said. "It isn't just for show."

* * *

A/N:

Hello everyone. Funkmasterjo here.

Is everyone settling into school life again? I know it sucks, but it can be good too. I have started Hamburger Steak Mondays with my family. There's a little silver lining you can hang up here and there I think.

This time, the chapter followed Tenten more closely. Unfortunately, she is not yet equipped with the Ten Commandments (or is she?). Let's take a little break from our protagonist. Absence, they say, makes the heart grow fonder.

In the manga Tenten doesn't get much screen time, but then she's also one who's most striking feature would be her lack of striking features. Still, I like he for that. Her lack of striking features has really struck me.

Lately I've been reading some translations of the bakemonogatari novels on baka-tsuki. In Tsunade's Heir I also titled something kimonomonogatari. Even since posting that chapter until now, I have also kept reading, and have despondently run out of material. The anime, of course, is quite good as well. As a reader, I found that the book didn't loose out to the anime. But, as an author, I was deeply moved and influenced by the books. I feel that I gained some pearls of wisdom for writing that I can't put my hands on concretely, but I'm quite certain are profound. The last time I felt this moved was after reading Akane the Suicidal, and before that The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. So moved was I. Therefore, I put great effort forth in this chapter. An inordinate attention to a sort of style that I can't explain. It's, honestly, rather taxing. But so moved was I that I could not help this overflowing desire to write this way.

Sorry for being long winded, though.

Please Review.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Happy Easter. This Easter, I'm hiding Easter eggs again. Except instead of eggs, I came upon some really cheap toblerone chocolates, so I'll be wrapping them in tin foil and hiding them instead, alone with one actual chocolate egg just for homage to the tradition.

* * *

Chapter 13

Take On Me

Everyone showed expressions of surprise.

The only two to react immediately were Tenten, because she had been just a little expectant of trouble, and Gai because of pure battle instinct.

Tenten bit out a 'damn', immediately and unhesitatingly leaping high into the air. She landed like a feather upon the branch of a tree.

Gai, on the other hand, burst forwards in an explosion of speed and power.

This minute difference in reaction would determine the entire course of the battle.

Because Tenten, having spent so much time listening to her Boss, understood intimately the basics of sealcrafter combat.

Since the discipline had been founded they had, ultimately, been regarded as trapsters and field-controllers.

And conflicts with them could be categorized into either battles where one was able to get away from writable surfaces and ones where you couldn't.

**"The Frictionless." **Extario intoned, standing straight and unmoved, failing to even flinch.

It was then that the floor flashed, and Tenten winced in sympathy as her Sensei slipped on seemingly nothing.

His prideful burst charge fell completely out of control, he fell forwards at high speed, and dropped onto the giant fist of silent Bogroll without being able to control anything.

Perhaps the most amazing yet, but Bogroll himself was actually able to send Sensei flying through the air with a pained cry.

Like a bullet, he shot through the air with a cry, becoming little more than a distant star as he faded from view.

_What?!_ Tenten cried in her mind. _What the hell?!_

"Sensei!" Lee exclaimed. "Why you!"

"Wait!" Tenten cried. "Don't move!"

Too late, both Lee and Neji attempted to move forwards and slipped to fall in an undignified lump.

'Frictionless', he'd said. Not 'slippery', Tenten frowned.

'Frictionless'. A total lack of traction. A completely useless floor, like something out of a fantasy.

There weren't even jutsu that could do this – this was a grade-A absurd world that no one would even think about seriously. A sealcrafter's world.

But how did he? When did he? He had been walking behind them all this time so why was everything in sight covered by this seal?!

_Ah, well, _She remembered Naruto saying. _It's not like there I don't have equipment choices to make either, even though I just use ink and paper. Like the kind of paper – sheets or scrolls. Or the type of ink – like the Ghost Ink I used for Tsunade, or like Living Ink that can crawl along the ground and cover large areas easily. Just, they're all mega expensive and hard to use. I also could only use Ghost Ink that time because Tsunade came to me with a requisition license. __Personally, I have to get a permit to use Living Ink no matter what, because I'm not even allowed to keep any on the premises according to an old Uzumaki-Konoha insurance claim settlement. Being able to write something, and have it just crawl around the floor or expand at your convenience... it's kind of cheating.  
_

Living Ink! This wasn't good!

Bogroll, who was wearing a simple outfit of baggy brown pants and a plain, loose shirt, revealed that he must have something written below those baggy clothes as he floated across the frictionless floor corresponding to gestures from Extario.

He glided forwards and then stopped on a dime before Neji.

Neji was unable to get up, because any hand he placed on the floor would fly away with no effect. He was unable to move forwards or back because he literally could not exert force on anything but free air.

And Bogroll reared back a fist above his head.

A slow, bone-crushing attack from outside their range. Completely clunky. Completely artless. A totally arbitrary one-sided attack.

Having the enemy was operating in close-range and still being unable to do anything, Neji found it to be the most shameful and incomprehensible way to die.

But that's how it was.

A shinobi's pride, their speed and technique, both were completely meaningless in a frictionless world.

Only jutsu or…

"That's why I told you idiots," Tenten bit out, reaching over her head and into her pack, "ranged weapons…. _are great!_"

Intercepting the descending fist of Bogroll, a cyclone of metal met him.

"Fuma shuriken!" Lee exclaimed, seeing the familiar giant shuriken fly before his eyes just in time to intercept Bogroll's massive fists.

And it stopped.

It stopped, like a shield in midair.

Tenten had her fists clenched together extended before her. "The Unchanged." She muttered.

Even Bogroll's fists were unable to move it.

"Damn." Extario muttered. "So you had something like that, Uzumaki Shopkeep!"

Of course she did, Tenten thought.

She still had an employee discount.

Tenten leapt high into the air. Twisting and turning, she nevertheless reached out to empty air. As she curled her fingers around this emptiness, handles would appear. Daggers, kunai, and all manner of impliments of sharpness entered her grasp. Obediently she let them loose in a rain of glistening razor steel.

Something briefly flashed on the arms of Bogroll as he lifted them above his head, and in the next moment all of Tenten's blades seemed to glance off of him, as if pinging off of hard steel.

_Ghost Ink._ Tenten recognized. _They have that too?!_

Delicately twisting like a falling feather being played about in the wind, Tenten primly landed exactly on the ring of her suspended Fuma-shuriken, meters away from the giant.

"It's ironic." She muttered. "For you to be beaten by a cheap everyday seal like this." She pointed downwards. "But I heard you can't have conflicting seals over the same area."

That's right. The upper body could block attacks relentlessly, but the seals hidden under his baggy pants were used for movement on this frictionless world.

Bogroll looked down and saw the metal at his feet. Kunai that had glanced off of his folded arms, with little tags fluttering in the wind.

Tenten snapped her fingers and Bogroll's cries of agony were swallowed in the accompanying echoes of explosive detonation.

Lee and Neji looked up at that moment, at Team Gai's unassuming background teammate. They looked up at her, suspended on a giant shuriken frozen in space, with her hair fluttering in nuclear wind, and plumes of smoke framing her features.

She was truly beautiful.

"Oy, get up you idiots!" She barked.

The kunai Tenten had thrown had not only rained down and struck Bogroll, they also _hadn't _struck her prone teammates. Perfect precision, not a wasted shot.

And Lee and Neji reached out to grasp the kunai handles protruding from the ground.

Extario peered through the explosive tag smoke as it cleared. Before him was his faithful servant Bogroll, fallen in battle with severe injuries to both legs, the Uzumaki shopkeep standing defiantly on her shuriken, her white garbed teammate balanced with one foot upon a kunai protruding from the ground, and her green garbed teammate performing a one-handed handstand on another.

All three glared at Extario.

"Hmph. I wonder if you're mistaking something…" Extario scoffed.

"We should run." Tenten whispered to her teammates. "Regroup. Find Sensei. There's no way he was taken out. He can't sense chakra for his life, and thinks a compass is something to put on a swelling, so he's probably just lost again."

"Tenten," Neji said seriously, "just give us a path. It's possible with your skill, right? A trail of kunai that won't fall over, but stay firmly planted in the ground to use as footholds."

"Osu!" Lee barked. "I can't let it end without paying this guy back for making me look like such a fool! Extario-san, I'll inscribe what hard work can do into your body!"

"Hah! I'd like to see you try!"

"Idiots!" Tenten berated. "He's had too much time!" She exclaimed.

"Yes." Extario agreed. "Listen to your shopkeep. Indeed, I've been given far too much time to write."

And, so saying, he reached over to his side and tapped the tree there with the back of his hand. **"Separate."**

A flash. A line of blue on the base of the tree and then it fell forwards, towards the group.

"He misjudged it." Neji frowned. "That tree will fall short of us. Can we use it as a bridge to him?"

"Won't it slip on the floor?" Lee asked. "Can you anchor it, Tenten-chan?"

"Run." Tenten exclaimed. "We have to run!"

There was no way…

There was just _no way_ a sealcrafter could be content to put only something as minor as 'separate' on a canvas of that size. It was going to reach them. His canvas was going to reach them!

She turned, but it was too late.

As if shot through with electricity, her body spasmed and all power fled her in a breath.

She fell, and somehow unable to even control her neck, her vision swam in a panorama from the horizontal to the vertical, panning up until she saw the sky. In freefall, falling backwards, Tenten briefly saw a glimmer of her crystal necklace slipping out from her shirt and shining before her.

_Ah… _she thought. _Boss._

It reminded her of Naruto. The sky did. The necklace did. Her weakness did. Her streangth did.

Everything did.

She missed him. If she was allowed to be selfish and say the truth at a hopeless time like this then honestly she missed him so bad.

And she fell to the floor, drained of all strength.

And so she could not save the necklace from being shattered upon the hard earth.

* * *

x-Earlier: With Naruto-x

"You have been called before this council, Uzumaki Naruto." The old man intoned. "And you have responded promptly. This is good."

"Better than good." Naruto replied, undaunted in the face of these old men on their higher platforms, looking down on him. In fact, he went so far as to flip a coin and catch it before pointing a thumb over his shoulder at his escort. "This guy was late." He complained. "And, he wanted to stop for porn."

"Erotic literature." Kakashi coughed beside him.

"Uzumaki Naruto, I'll make it clear." The man said. "This council didn't call you here in order to treat you like a child." The man said these uncharacteristic words. "From a long time ago, Konoha and the Uzumaki have had an understanding. We're…partners."

Naruto sighed and crossed his arms. "I appreciate that. And I'm aware of the history."

The old man crossed his own arms. The councilmen on either side of him considered the boy before them seriously.

"…What do you think, Uzumaki Naruto, about Konoha?" "Konoha…" Naruto muttered. He uncrossed his arms and flipped his coin into the air again. Heads. That was two heads in a row.

"Do you like it?" The man asked uncharacteristically. "Do you resent the people that still look down on you for housing the Kyuubi?" Not a word was mentioned about the odd behavior. If one went around trying to fuss out everything an Uzumaki went around doing, why nothing would ever get done.

"Konoha is… where I live, and where all my friends live." Naruto explained. Flip. Tails. He didn't like tails. "Tenten-chan likes it… Kaa-chan liked it, Tou-san liked it…" He muttered. "And… it's where I keep all my stuff."

"Yes," the man felt an uncharacteristic smile creep up his face, "it's where you keep all your stuff."

The councilmen on either side of him visibly relaxed.

Where an Uzumaki kept all their things – their work, their libraries, their ancestor's work – it became their dragon's den. A place where riches were hoarded and protected fiercely.

For the first time, Uzumaki Naruto walked up to the small table placed into the middle of the room. Upon its old wooden surface was a single contract paper. Naruto placed his coin upon the table. Unfortunately slipped off of the slightly slanted surface, but Naruto put it aside for now. Naruto read over the paper before him and reached for the provided quill and signed. He produced his family stamp and applied it to the top right corner. He rubbed his thumb in a pool of provided ink and pressed down firmly beside his signature.

"Uzumaki Naruto is hereby tasked to investigate the rumored existence of a Sealbreaker being within our country. If one is so found, Uzumaki Naruto is tasked to bring this individual to justice. This council authorizes Uzumaki Naruto limited access to the Uzumaki Inkhouse kept in Konoha's trust, for use on his mission. Jounin Kakashi will be assigned as your escort and to aid in capturing the criminal. Do you require any additional aid?" The man asked.

"I'm fine."

"Then, one thing before you leave, Uzumaki Naruto." The man said, looking at the floor besides Naruto with interest.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked.

"What were you doing with that coin earlier?"

"Oh, that?" Naruto scrunched up his nose and asked. "Just a game I've been playing. Heads I win, Tails I lose." Naruto arched an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, just that since you dropped it; it's settled on its side." The man uncharacteristically said. "Is that normal?"

Naruto gasped.

Immediately he dropped to his knees and observed the coin, perfectly stopped on its side.

Tenten!

It was an alien feeling. It was a new degree of horror, to think that somewhere where he couldn't see her, his good acquaintance was in danger. That Tenten that liked to complain about how slow the work day was, and how he couldn't pick up after himself, and how he shouldn't keep bugging her to cook for him…

That Tenten that took care of all the troubles she complained about while saying 'you're hopeless' and smiling.

This coin seemed to defy fate, neither heads nor tails, but suspended in between, balanced perfectly on its side upon the marble floor. It filled him with an indescribable dread.

And Naruto didn't like it.

No.

Naruto didn't like it one bit.

As for the council, the old man at its centre had to recover quickly from the surprise of Naruto bursting out of the room.

But even though he ran outside quickly, he understandably paused upon seeing the Uzumaki on his hands and knees in the middle of a street surrounded by inkwells. His fevered complaints and curses didn't help much either. "I told her not to break it. I told her to _never _let it break, and what happens? First mission, broken, goddamnit!"

And beyond just giving the boy space to work, the locals were quickly running away at maximum speed.

Local shinobi presence, including Naruto's dutiful ANBU detail also wouldn't approach closer than four meters.

"Uzumaki Naruto! We aren't finished until the meeting is convened!" The old man shouted.

"Councilman Danzo!" Kakashi shouted, throwing his arm out to bar the man. "It isn't safe."

The man turned to Kakashi upon hearing such a tremor in the man's voice.

"That's… the Thunder God." Kakshi bit out. "The Flying Thunder God! Naruto, are you insane?!"

"Just stay out of it." Naruto said without looking. "I'm trying to concentrate."

Then he produced a bottle of painkillers in a puff of ninja smoke and took a liberal dose.

"Concen – You aren't ready!" Kakashi said. "You'll simply implode without moving an inch, or be lost in the dimensional void! Even if by some miracle you navigate it, do you really think you can land in just one place – in just one piece?!"

"He can…" Danzo muttered, the makings of a wicked smile encroaching onto his face. "…He can use it?"

"He can probably _trigger it._" Kakashi confirmed. "He can trigger it in the _wrong _way. A lot of people are capable of using it _improperly. _They all end up dead or missing, lost to the dimensional void! _No one _can _land _with it, no one can _pilot _it! What the hell are you doing, Naruto!"

"I changed my mind." Naruto said abruptly, standing up. "I do need something from you." He turned to Danzo. "Cover for me."

"Naru-!"

"Flying Thunder God!" Naruto hollered, thrusting his right hand into the air. With a wordless scream, he brought his raised fist crashing down into his own palm. "Version 2!"

It wasn't accompanied by a puff of ninja-smoke. It wasn't that he faded out.

The Flying Thunder God wasn't that kind of weak transportation. It was instant. Complete.

In one moment, such that it made the eyes strain with the unnatural abruptness of it, Naruto was simply not there. Not a trace remained.

Because he was in that moment already somewhere else.

"Naruto… why… what could make you so desperate?" Kakashi asked the empty air.

There was no telling what the boy had done. He could be anywhere, in any number of places, in any number of pieces. The Flying Thunder God, based off of the summoning seal, was one in which a person reverse-summoned themselves to a marker in the same world. It was one that pulled a person half-way to a summon realm, and then pulled them back to their own world, just somewhere else.

Naruto hadn't even done that. Version 2… to use the seal where you are now, and launch yourself randomly into that half-space and try to exit where you wished. The most free-roaming form of teleportation. The most insane.

For a young seal crafter like Naruto, he may as well roll a die to see where, which dimension, and how he would turn up.

"Hmm… You spent too much time with your teacher, Kakashi." Danzo observed as he walked towards the empty area. "And not enough time with the boy's mother. If you'd had to deal with half the damage complaints that the council has had to, you'd understand. The Uzumaki are an insane, insensible bunch. Thinking of them as humans, to begin with, is a mistake. The precious 'rules' they follow… the very world they see and how they live in it… these are fundamentally different things and ones we can never understand. In fact, it's that very trait that makes them indispensable. It's that very reason that they cannot be controlled – must be negotiated with using both frankness and equality. The moment we're able to understand why they do the things they do, or if ever they were stripped of their individuality or freedom to innovate, they become completely unnecessary." Within the now empty seal lay a single piece of glimmering silver. Danzo picked up and observed the coin with some amusement. "A game, huh? All right, Uzumaki Naruto," He flipped the coin. "I'd be delighted to play with you. But it's quite a handicap to start by owing me a favor."

* * *

"Kuh!" Naruto gasped quietly. It worked. Damn. Aaaagh.

As expected, he was nowhere near ready for it.

The price. The price?!

Why did it hurt so much?!

No way. Naruto looked at himself.

No way.

He could see there, the grievous wound he had suffered in transit.

Or… was 'wound' the right word at a time like this?

Snapping his fingers, Naruto produced a sheet of paper than he plastered immediately to the wound, 'the unchanged'.

He charged it, and then downed a dose of painkillers.

Aaaagh.

No way. No way. No way.

And then he heard a voice. A familiar voice.

Tenten. The only thing that could break him out of his preoccupation. Tenten.

Naruto stayed quiet and collected himself.

He needed to prepare himself to jump in and assist. He wasn't in any condition to charge in, kunai flying.

Hey. Was she… crying out?

* * *

Tenten, utterly no power in her body, nonetheless opened her mouth. "Ah." She cried. "Ah! Ahhhhh!"

She couldn't help herself. It broke.

When she fell, it broke. Naruto's necklace. She stared at it. Actually, she could hardly stop staring at it with her head lolled in its direction. She lacked the power to do more than keep her eyes open. Still, she screamed.

For there before her lay the most beautiful, sprawling mass of nonsense that Tenten had ever laid eyes on.

_Oh my God, oh my God. It can't be. It can't be!_

Tenten's heart was racing, pounding.

What did he sneak into her necklace, that guy! What did he think he was doing?!

Didn't he say that it was gone?! He burned it himself, and cried sorrowful tears about it!

The Sannin of power and invincibility had tried to scrape its ashes off of the shop room floor!

He said it was too powerful to live!

So why!

Why in a place like this!

_Always wear it, but never let it break._

Oh God!

He'd done it! He'd written _one more!_

Against all his principles, against everything he'd said!

An existence that could crack the world in two, and could only be used once, because it was too risky to survive outside that one room!

And he'd done a hat-trick on it!

**True and Ultimate Luck.**

"Ah!" Tenten cried, hot tears streaming down her face. She willed her arm to move. Her body seemed to have no power, but she desperately dragged her arm across the dirt road. "Ahhh! Boss! Naruto-kun!"

For her. She knew it was only for her.

Oh God, Tenten thought, he's so good to me.

Let me reach it, Tenten cried in the confines of her mind. Let me not waste this. In all my life, if I can have one wish, I wish to not waste this!

With grit teeth, and exerting an ungodly effort, Tenten slid her tired arm so that the back of her hand lay over the scribble.

"What's that?" A voice asked in curiosity.

Tenten's eyes turned up at her enemy.

"Well, it won't help anyway." Extario observed. "It's true that I've released 'the frictionless'. Therefore, if that is a seal it could in theory be charged now that the floor is 'free space'. However, there is absolutely, completely, totally no way. You haven't the power. I've taken it."

Tenten glared hatefully at the man.

"Yes, I like that. I like that glimmer of understanding the most." Extario admitted. "Let me explain something. I want to make it clear. I am not a Seal-Breaker." Extario held his arms out. "That is one who purposely destroys another seal crafter's work. Their precious libraries. Their all-important heritage. Said to be dangerous existences, because they are mad – isn't that nonsense?"

"…are."

"What's that?"

"…you…_are_…mad."

"Hahaha." Extario shrugged emphatically. "Silly girl. You don't get to decide that. But I must agree that there is something inherently evil about destroying another crafter's work. You probably don't understand, so I'll explain. The work, you see, bears no sin. It is understanding. It is truth. For crafters, basic knowledge and advancement of the art, if you remove the applications and the users – in other words the papers themselves – they are pure. They are something like holy. But destroying them is not what I do. I told you before, what my truest belief was. If you want something," Extario grinned broadly as he reached out a palm and clenched it before Tenten emphatically, "you grasp it. You go out and you _take it_. Experiencing all my pain and trials for being utterly talentless in the arts… did in fact give me _just one _thing. I was able to make it. With my deep desire for more, which plagued me day and night, I came to have a profound understanding of the desire that drives men to theft. Like this, I was able to make it."

Extario reached over and pat the fallen tree coated in ink lovingly. "**'The Ephemeral Taking'**. Things that can't be taken, I take them. Your power, I can take it. Except I don't' want it. I'm a crafter, and above such brutish needs. No, your power I feed into Bogroll here." So saying, he kicked his fallen companion, who groaned. "My good old, _honorable_ teacher."

Tenten's eyes widened.

"Yes, the Master I spoke of, he was the first one I stole from. Poetic, isn't it? What do you think… I 'took' from him?" He spread his arms wide.

Tenten could only look up in abject horror. "You didn't… not that…" Tenten gasped. "Anything but that!"

"You get it!" Extario laughed. "As expected of an Uzumaki Shopkeep, you get it, right!? His mind!" Extario roared. "I took his knowledge! I took his talent! I took his wisdom and his experience! His philosophy! His happiness at learning something new, his curiosity of the unknown, I took it all and left this _useless_, mute, brutish assistant!"

"…monster…. you…. Fucking Monster!" Tenten cried.

Extario only laughed again.

It seemed so funny he had to hold his sides.

"Ah… but when I left konoha, I thought I would just prey on a jounin and his group – power up my Bogroll a bit, I suppose." Extario shrugged. "But I got you – and you are a nice little bonus. Well. Thanks for everything." He said leisurely. "You really are great."

"I hope you die." Tenten replied honestly. She had never in her life so sincerely hoped this much misfortune on anyone.

"Not likely." Extario smirked. "Certainly not in this situation."

"Likely enough." Tenten spat. "Likely enough to end you in the worst way. With a little luck."

"Hah! Well we shall s…" Extario trailed off, for he had noticed something truly strange.

Tenten saw it too.

Completely out of place in this hopeless situation, floating upon the wind, a symbol of freedom and childish purity… little paper airplanes.

Floating down towards them.

"Ah…" Extario gasped, snapping to his senses. "Impossible!" He swore and backpedalled with maximum speed. The airplanes fell to the floor gently, seemingly left inactivated with their target now out of range. "It can't be! There was no way you could know! And we've been walking since dawn! Even for the fastest shinobi, it would be impossible! What did you do? What did you do, Uzumaki!?" Extario cried.

"Oh, that's something…" A voice commented. "You knew it was me? Not bad" Naruto asked, stumbling out of the forest line. "By the way, sorry I'm late for the party." Naruto sighed. "Traffic was a bitch."

"With this timing, who else?" Extario asked sarcastically. "It could only be the knight in shining armor. Except…. Hah. Hahaha! Look at you, Uzumaki! What a price you paid! The blood you've put up as cost! Oh, I can't believe it! To meet you here, outside of your village, your guard, and even your ancestral ground! None of your vast resources! I can't believe you'd put yourself nicely in my striking range! Oh, to think I could **take **from **you!** The things you must know, the secrets you've inherited! I'll be unstoppable! "

"No!" Tenten cried. "I thought…" Hot tears flowed from Tenten's eyes. "I thought I was supposed to be-!"

_Lucky._

"Shh…" Naruto hushed, finger to his lips. "You were. Enough that I happened to get here in the nick of time. Enough that I have just barely enough left in me to beat the enemy down and save the day narrowly, from the jaws of defeat. Like a real Saturday morning hero." Not only was she still lucky to get help at all, in fact it even seems more extraordinarily fortunate because it's a close thing. That's how it worked. "Poetic, isn't it? It's fine. I don't mind. I'm just glad… so glad I made it here. I'm really, really glad. And you! I think I heard plenty while I was applying blood-stopper seals to myself. You're a real piece of work you bastard." Naruto addressed Extario. "You're going down."

"Stop it! Stop talking like its okay now! Look at you!" Tenten protested. "I didn't want this!" Tenten was crying. She hated crying, and she avoided it like the plague. She wasn't that kind of girl. But some things – some things were just going too far.

He was so good to her.

He was maybe too good to her. So good she didn't know what to do with herself. So good it hurt.

Because…

Because!

"Your arm!" Tenten gasped. "Your AAAARM!"

A bloody stump. Emergency measures. A white paper dyed red, lines glowing blue, the only thing keeping Naruto functional.

Immaturely using the Flying Thundergod technique, he was lucky enough to reach the right battlefield, out of all the battlefields in all the worlds in all the universes of the fabric of the multiverse.

But as Kakashi had said, just not all of him. Somewhere in the dimensional void, he'd lost something important.

But things come, and they go, and prices had to be paid.

That was the rule.

But, Naruto thought, he would choose what he lost and what he kept. That was his prerogative. That was his answer.

**_His _rule.**

"I know you might want to fight, Tenten-chan. You're that kind of girl." Naruto nodded, seeing her left hand scraping at the floor angrily, summoning power through frustration and fury. "But stay right there, just like that. Hold that… position." With your hand upon the ground, upon the _true word_. It was really the ultimate support already. "I've got this."

* * *

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto."

"Extario." The thin short man replied. "Last name unnecessary."

"What a suitable name you've got, Unnecessary." Naruto replied. "The world doesn't need jerks like you."

"Big talk. In truth, normally, I would not deal with you! Your family is too crazy for anyone to bother with! Playing with gods, keeping demons as pets, spitting in the eye of creation! I wouldn't want the trouble! But here you are, heavily exerted, a one-armed seal crafter!" Extario exclaimed. "What's your dominant hand? At this pace, don't tell me you've lost it?! Your writing hand?!"

"One hand's fine." Naruto replied. "To begin with, brushes have always been one-handed."

"But writing isn't. Holding the paper steady. The art of seal crafting while writing with two brushes. Unfurling a scroll!" Extario exclaimed joyously. "You want to take me on one-handed?!"

"How about you?" Naruto replied. "That's a pretty heavy duty seal you have there. And you can't release it, can you? Heck, I bet you can't even take your hand off of that log. The second you do, your targets will have their strength back and then you'll really be screwed. Can't complete it without leaving yourself open to me. Can't stop it without getting screwed. Seems we're both one handed and strapped for resources?"

Extario said nothing.

"At least I have this." Naruto held forth his gloved hand. Predictably, a seal was inked there.

The first stroke departed from the centre of Naruto's palm, and it was the approaching. The second stroke lay in the middle, and was the identity. The last stroke encircled all others, and that was why it was 'the world'.

It was exactly the same as 'gather', but the order was reversed.

'An inverse writing of 'the gather'

Extario's keen eyes roughly understood what the black lines on his opponent's white gloves represented. "The Gathering. A strange thing to bring to a fight. What will you target?"

"Nothing." Naruto replied. "Just what's there. Just… air."

And so saying, Naruto thrust his palm forwards to the ground.

A pulse of air moved away from Naruto's position, as if running away.

And upon these fleeing wisps of wind, carried loftily once more on the breeze were those innocent white messengers.

"The paper planes!" Extario gasped. "Bastard! So you inverted it!"

It was difficult for him to write in this situation, Naruto admitted to himself, but there were pre-written things and wasn't that good enough?

Unexpectedly, Extario sneered. "But you're forgetting something! BOGROLL!"

The fallen man let loose a sudden roar, surprising all there who thought he was out of the fight. Surely, his legs were bloody and contained nothing but crushed matter, but his arms were mighty and his pain threshold seemed para-human.

With a lurch, the giant man launched himself with his arms and fell upon Naruto in a bear-hug, his upper body glowing with the defensive seals inscribed there.

And Naruto twisted, grasping something about his neck.

And Bogroll was blown back by an incredible force.

A shockwave resounded through the clearing. A plume of smoke and flame arose, enough to obscure the entirety of what transpired.

All that could be said was that Bogroll, who even sent Tenten's teacher flying with a punch and had a seal-reinforced upper body capable of surviving an explosive tag blitzing unscathed, was charred black and crushed completely with broad scar diagonally across his chest.

As the smoke cleared, what was left was only Naruto standing with the scraps of an orange sword-hilt in his left hand.

A transforming, exploding sword. It's was still unfinished, for the blade still could not survive its own explosive power and its strength could not be controlled. However this Explodia: the 135th's power could not be complained about.

Extario smiled warmly. "I knew it. I knew you had another trump card. Always something, right Uzumaki? But! That's it, you've wasted it! Even if you have more, even if your clan is acclaimed to be endless supplies of tools of horror, you're done! With that hand incapable of holding a brush, that armory is out of reach! I win! You are in no condition to fight! You are pathetically, already defeated!"

It was true. Naruto's whole body was shaken.

After using the Flying Thunder God… well, even though it was a chakra-guzzling technique he _was _still an Uzumaki. He could have confidence in his energy capacity. At least, he wasn't running on empty.

But his body was suffering quite a shock at losing the arm in transit. And now, Explodia had been used. The cross guard needed much more work. The explosion shook him as well. It rattled his bones and numbed his fingers. He didn't know what kind of damage his hand sustained, but it was too much.

Furthermore, the explosion just now was enough to send his paper planes fluttering in the wind as paper planes were wont to do.

It was here that Naruto would be decisive. "I've got one move left." Naruto insisted, stepping forwards.

"You… that's my seal, you fool." Extario muttered in awe. "I inscribed this fallen tree with my signature seal, the Ephemeral Taking, you fool!"

"Want to take me?" Naruto asked. "Come get some."

And so saying, Naruto slammed his left hand onto the seal.

And _pulled_.

At first, Extario didn't understand, but then it all came together.

The paper airplanes fluttering in the wind, caught in falling currents and the fancy of the air, they all came together.

In a line on the tree trunk that held Extario's seal, they coincidentally came together back to back as they landed in sequence, unfolded with a signal from Naruto, and revealed the arcing, approaching strokes of 'interception' and the intertwined strokes of 'the diversion'.

"*Ngh!* You!" Extario gasped, experiencing for the first time in his life, the effects of his own work. "Hacking! You want to hack _my _seal?! That's a riot. Engaging me like this, you're just saving me _time!_"

They were not offensive seals, but hacking seals. Just how far had he anticipated. How could he have known it would come to this?!

Extario understood. Tired from blood loss, limited to only his off hand, he wasn't fit to engage in any competition of strength or even skill.

Instead, the boy boldly and shamelessly decided to hack the thief.

And now it was a battle of control. Not of writing seals, but of understanding the essence of this particular seal.

Of f*cking philosophy.

So like the genius clan! F*ck the Uzumaki!

Naruto, in truth, didn't plan any of it in detail. He had patched himself quickly, gathered his baring, gotten a gist of what was going on upon the battlefield, and judged that he was too disadvantaged.

He just wanted to hack it. He needed to hack it.

For the sake of justice, the man couldn't keep that knowledge. The basics of capturing a thief, is to return the stolen property. He couldn't very well perform the 'ephemeral taking' so all that was left was to hack it.

With this vague feeling, he winged it completely.

Paper planes seemed fine. He wrote upon them with his left hand. He wrote upon his left hand with the brush in his teeth.

Why the inverse gather?

Because he hardly saw a point in the regular gather… but it was his first seal. Coincidentally, it was the easiest seal for him to the point where he could write it with his teeth. That's why.

That's all.

At present Naruto also felt strength start to leave him. But he insisted. He persisted. "It's fine. You know, I don't like to criticize too much, but there's a big fat chunk missing in your work!"

"And what's that?!" Extario said angrily. "Are you going to talk to me about your philosophy, damn Uzumaki?! What would you know about any of it! You, who were blessed by the inheritance of your forefathers! You, who's blood flows with ink! You who bleeds talent! What would you ever know about my work!"

"You're wrong." Naruto insisted. "I do get it. This thing here, it's 'the taking' right? You're the absurd one. You're going to use something crazy like this when what you know is only _desire. _Only _wanting _to take! But you! For all the whining you're doing, when have you ever lost _anything?! _When have you ever been taken from, in all that time?! Me, I know exactly what it means to take, because I've lost it _all_. Mother, gone. Father, gone. Aunty, gone! My place in my own village, it was taken, and I had to work to get any of it back! And my _wife!_" Naruto growled. "_You_ tried to take her, and when I realized that I was going to lose _her _too, I realized that I'd had enough! What I lose, what I keep, what I take! I'll decide it! I'm not going to stand for this anymore!"

"And people call me insane!" Extario grunted, sweat beading down his face.

Why couldn't he kill this kid? Why couldn't he plunder this last trove of knowledge!

He had stolen so much already, and now he had a whole mountain of plundered knowledge and wisdom behind him! Who cared! He didn't understand what the hell this kid was saying!

"You're too young to be married anyway!" Extario argued. "Just let it go!"

Of all the things he could say, that was what Extario said. Despite himself, when the chips came down, in the end he was a realist and he was simple.

"Screw that!" Naruto shot back. "I know we're not married! And I haven't even asked her out! I'm pretty sure she only finds me annoying! But I'm still going to marry her! Uzumaki Tenten! That's my wiiiife!"

Responding to his opponent's senseless fighting spirit, Extario felt his control of 'The Ephemeral Taking' slip and slip. His knees got weaker and weaker. No! It couldn't end like this!

Damn talent! Damn Uzumaki!

"Don't I get a say in this?" Tenten asked despite herself, too in awe.

"No. You don't!" Naruto answered stubbornly through grit teeth. "The shop's empty and the food's bland! I have nothing to do at night, and it's boring all day! Yet when we were there together, it was the happiest time of my life! And I'm not gonna **lose** you! Even if I have to **take** you!" Naruto cried, lurching away from the seal of 'The Ephemeral Taking' and trying to _rip it free _from the confines of its canvas. "**You're gonna be my wiiiiiiiife!**" He roared.

The sky cracked. Or rather, it snapped out in an unearthly cry. The ink inscribing one of Konoha's fallen great oaks peeled free from its base amidst splinters of flying bark and wood chips. This dark fluid stretched and groaned as Naruto pulled with all his remaining might, until at last the tension was too great.

It snapped free from its 2D prison into the 3D world, like a rubber band in flight, flying at Naruto in a jumble of limbs and sprawling mass. For a second, it seemed to writhe around him, attempting to consolidate itself now that it was free of its canvas, and Naruto did the only thing he could do.

He trudged forwards and shoved it into a container.

And as Naruto fell unconscious, exhausted, the unconscious Bogroll in turn gasped awake as he felt ink pouring into his already charred black skin.

* * *

A/N: My waiiifu!

The true power of youth.

When it comes to a wedding the guy's responsibility for wedding preparations (aside from smiling, nodding, and putting up with things) is just one. The proposal. Everyone wants to make their proposal stand out or at least be sufficient, and with this one act of romance they wonderfully get out of having to be romantic for the next five to eight months if they're lucky. Naruto would like you to rate his proposal on a scale 1 to 10.

Take On Me - Take because that's a theme. Relevant to the like 'come get some'. The order's a little inversed, so it's 'I'll take you!" Or something. Really, I just like the song, and it had take in it's name.

I bet no one expected to ever see that again, ultimate luck. Tenten didn't either. If you recall, he had to practice it rigorously until he could write it in invisible ink on a pig. Actually, even now he could drop it on a whim but the cost is very high. The ramifications are too scary, and it is deeply against his judgement to write it for any reason. Even so, he likes Tenten too much. Truly, he's an unreasonable guy that follows his heart and causes all kinds of problems for people. But he is still very sad because it will never be preserved for future generations, and he shall take it to his grave.


End file.
